Meghan McCain is opening up about the silent miscarriage she experienced in 2019.
“I had morning sickness and I wasn’t feeling well. And then the symptoms started to fade a little bit,” McCain revealed on People’s “Me Becoming Mom” podcast.
The former “View” co-host noted that she wasn’t concerned at the time.
“I didn’t know enough to know it was a bad sign,” McCain explained.
A few days later, blood work showed that McCain’s pregnancy wasn’t progressing normally.
“I was so confused,” McCain told podcast host Zoe Ruderman. “I think of having a miscarriage as, like, you start bleeding profusely in the middle of a room. And mine was very different.”
The term "silent miscarriage" — also known as "missed abortion" or "missed miscarriage" — refers to instances when a pregnant person's body does not recognize that the baby has died or failed to develop. An ultrasound is often the only way to discover that a miscarriage has occurred.
McCain called the experience “one of the darkest times” in her life.
“Every sense in my body was overwhelmed, and then I was heartbroken,” she said.
McCain recalled how friends, after they learned what happened, went to her apartment and hid her baby books.
“It was just so sad,” she said. “It’s still emotional.”
McCain had dilation and curettage (D&C), a surgical procedure to remove tissue from the uterus.
“I felt like not only was a physical part of me leaving, but the hope of something amazing was leaving me,” she said. “And I felt like my body had betrayed me and rejected me.”
McCain and her husband, Ben Domenech, took time to process the loss before they started trying again.
“I was scared and I was sad and I was freaked out and angry,” she said. “And then, just like the physical aspect of it: You bleed a lot for a long time. So I wasn’t ready for a while.”
McCain said she finds comfort in her belief that the baby she lost is with her late father, Sen. John McCain, who died in 2018.
“That child is with my dad in the afterlife or in heaven,” she said.
McCain and Domenech, publisher of the conservative online magazine The Federalist, welcomed a daughter named Liberty in September 2020.