“I feel like miscarriage truly steals your joy," Roloff, 30, began an Instagram post on Sunday. “This pregnancy, it’s been so difficult to get excited. However, we have seen baby multiple times and we’ve heard his/her heartbeat a ton. And it’s strong."
Roloff added that she's also "starting to feel baby move pretty consistently" and said that is helping her to relax and be in the moment.
The TLC personality and her husband, Zach Roloff, are already parents of son Jackson, 4, and daughter Lilah, 2. The couple are expecting their third child in the spring. They announced the happy news in November, eight months after Roloff revealed she had experienced a devastating miscarriage.
“We went in for our first ultrasound at 8 weeks and found out that we lost our sweet baby two weeks earlier,” she shared on Instagram at the time, “I’ve never felt so sad, angry, and scared in a single moment.”
Roloff went on to praise her spouse, calling him her “unwavering rock.”
“Parents should never know the heartbreak of losing a child,” she wrote. “I pray that we can all find peace that our babies are waiting for us in heaven and we will meet one day.”
A “rainbow baby” is a term to describe children born after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death, like light at the end of a storm. But as Tori can attest, pregnancy after loss isn’t all rainbows.
“One of the biggest misconceptions is that parents no longer grieve upon a subsequent healthy pregnancy,” Dr. Rayna D. Markin, a clinical psychologist and associate professor of counseling at Villanova University, previously told TODAY Parents. “On the contrary, subsequent pregnancies can re-trigger a person’s attachment to the lost baby and feelings of loss.”
Dr. Jessica Zucker, a psychologist specializing in women’s reproductive and maternal mental health, recommends support groups and mantra meditations.
“A mantra that can be particularly grounding during this period is, ‘At this moment in time, I am pregnant. Everything is OK,’ Zucker told TODAY last year. “Reminding yourself that this pregnancy is moving along healthily can be a powerful thing to appreciate in the midst of fear.”