Gaby Dalkin is no stranger to sharing her journey with infertility.
On Thursday, the food blogger joined Katherine Schwarzenegger on her BDA (Before, During, & After) Baby Instagram series to talk about infertility.
Dalkin welcomed baby girl Poppy in January after three years of infertility.
“We started trying to get pregnant back in 2017,” Dalkin shared in the 30-minute clip. “The first time we ever got pregnant was in October.”
Dalkin’s parents cautioned her and husband, Thomas, to "just get through the first twelve weeks."
“Just hearing their reaction to our news was so helpful in that - we’re not out of the woods just because we’re four and a half weeks pregnant,” she told Schwarzenegger, adding they went on to lose that pregnancy. “We were sad, but we knew it was a possibility because of my parents' reaction, so it was nice to know that in the back of our head before we went in.”
The food blogger admitted she "lost track" of miscarriages before her successful pregnancy in 2020, but was determined to stay optimistic amidst heartbreak.
“Every morning you wake up and you get to choose the kind of day you’re going to have,” she said. “I certainly have days where I’m not in a bright, cheerful mood. I want to choose happiness and appreciate what I do have in my life.”
Dalkin shared her doctor, who maintained a positive attitude by dialing into her specific needs over the course of a year, contributed to her optimistic outlook.
“It’s hard because you have to have tests done and those tests can only happen at certain times of the month,” Dalkin said, adding that patience was key. “I knew it would be a rough year, so I chose to focus on the things that make me happy.”
Dalkin told Schwarzenegger she thinks her type-A personality kept her momentum for being a mom going, regardless of how it happened.
“This is something you cannot control. You have to be able to have that conversation with yourself and give up that control to the universe and your doctors,” Dalkin said. “Me being a checklist kind of person, I never put the kibosh on anything, because I wanted to finish out what we started.”
She also credits husband Thomas for his encouragement and support through the process.
“Thomas has been über supportive,” Dalkin said. “He’s always taken the mindset of - I’m going to be here for you, whatever you need. How can I make your life easier, because you’re the one going through it.”
For other couples experiencing infertility, Dalkin recommends talking about everything together and focusing on the aspects of the relationship that aren’t affected.
“The line of communication has to be super open, you just have to be on the same page,” she said, adding that checking in mentally and physically is crucial.
While the food blogger shared she and Thomas "definitely want more," she is a little unnerved by a pregnancy statistic.
“I just learned that having a baby after 35, you’re geriatric and I’m upset that I’m referred to as that,” she said. “It’s so rude.”
Schwarzenegger's BDA series has previously covered topics like body after baby, egg freezing, and reproductive health. She also sat down with Lauren and Jason Kennedy to discuss their journey with IVF.