Kara Keough Bosworth is sharing her pain eight months after the death of her newborn son, McCoy.
In an Instagram post on Sunday, the former “Real Housewives of Orange County” star shared a photo of her husband, Kyle Bosworth, holding their late baby boy.
“In the 8 months since you were born, we’ve learned that it’s okay to let ourselves have hard moments on otherwise good days & good moments on otherwise hard days,” Kara wrote. “And it’s slowly becoming more of the former & less of the latter.”
Kara, who is mom to 4-year-old daughter, Decker, noted that the 6th of the month is always hard. She gave birth to McCoy on April 6. Six days later, McCoy died of childbirth complications.
“But the other days, the regular days, I’d say it’s more likely to be a good day sprinkled with hard moments,” she revealed. “Like when I see a pregnant woman and I think to myself ‘I hope it works out for her.’ Or when we go for a walk and I see a baby that is your Woulda Been Age. We stare a little too long, soaking in all the particulars, as I whisper under my breath ‘Honey, that’s how old McCoy would be now.’”
This month, Kara has found herself zeroing in on “crawling little bodies and sprouting tooth bud grins.” Come January 2021, “It’ll be a different milestone that hits me like a brick,” she added.
For Kara, the bricks won’t ever stop falling.
“I know with certainty that it will freeze me in place to see a Big Kid struggling with a zipper as I picture you doing the same. How would you do it? How would an almost 5-year-old McCoy deal with the frustration of a zipper off-kilter?” Kara wondered. “And in the 10, 20, 30 years after that, I’ll still see a shadow of you somewhere in the world around me. Until the day I day I die, I’ll still be sifting through the living for traces of you.”