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Is it selfish to have an adult-only wedding?

It's a decision every couple planning a wedding has to make: Should we invite kids, too?
/ Source: TODAY

It’s a decision every couple planning a wedding has to make: Should we invite kids, too?

Sure, letting kids come means more mouths to feed, which leads to a higher wedding bill. And if you’re planning an extravagant affair, it can be tricky — kids around crystal is never a good idea. Plus, sometimes grown-ups just want to be among themselves. But is it really acceptable for couples to say friends and family can’t bring their kids? One writer doesn’t think so.

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Chaunie Brunie’s essay for YourTango, “I Have Kids And I Think It's Selfish To Have An Adult-Only Wedding” has people talking about the topic, and she points out that for many couples, constant summer weddings mean just one thing: lots and lots of babysitters.

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“For us, to attend the ceremony and a reception, I’ll easily shell out over 100 bucks on a babysitter, plus the wedding gift. It’s a horrendously expensive date night and I’m sorry (and no offense to you and the love of your life), but that’s really asking a lot of your guests with young children,” she wrote.

Brunie told she's not trying to start a wedding war, but she wants couples to be considerate of their guests who are parents.

"I do think it's important to recognize that it's not always easy for parents of very young children to enjoy adult-only weddings when they have to find and pay for a sitter," she said. "It's a lot of work! I love attending weddings and just wish sometimes it was more affordable for everyone involved, parents too!"

One wedding expert told she understands why couples might choose an adult-only wedding, but says they should keep in mind that sometimes kids are the life of the party.

"Kids can make the celebration that much more special," said Kellee Khalil, founder and CEO of the wedding website Loverly. "They're the un-jaded ones who can still see magic in the world, and they'll appreciate being there even more than some guests would."

But at the end of the day, it's the couple's call, she added.

"As for etiquette, for guests, if the invitation doesn't expressly include the children's names or is not addressed to the family, then it's not appropriate to ask the couple to make exceptions," Khalil said.