“2017 just wasn’t how I imagined it,” Underwood, 35, told CBS correspondent Tracy Smith while trying to hold back tears. “I’d kind of planned that 2017 was, you know, going to be the year that I work on new music, and I have a baby. We got pregnant early 2017, and it didn’t work out.”
Underwood, who has a 3-year-old son named Isaiah with husband Mike Fisher, 38, and is currently pregnant with their second child, said that after the first miscarriage, she felt it just wasn’t God’s timing and that life would start to feel normal again eventually.
But after two more subsequent miscarriages that occurred in 2017 and 2018, she wondered, “Okay, like, what’s the deal? What is all of this?'”
She remembers at one point curling up next to Isaiah as he slept, sobbing.
Her new album, "Cry Pretty," was inspired by the emotions she felt during this time, she revealed. The album’s title track came from the tough task of putting on a smile while dealing with the loss.
“I would literally have these horrible things going on in my life and then have to go smile and do some interviews or photoshoots,” she explained.
Underwood said she had always been afraid to be angry because she felt so blessed with her family already.
“My son, Isaiah, is the sweetest thing. And he’s the best thing in the world,” she said. “And I’m like, ‘If we can never have any other kids, that’s okay, because he’s amazing.’ And I have this amazing life. Like, really, what can I complain about? I can’t. I have an incredible husband, incredible friends, an incredible job, an incredible kid. Can I be mad? No.”
But one night, when she thought she was suffering a fourth miscarriage, she allowed herself to get mad. “And for the first time, I feel like I actually told God how I felt,” she said. “That was like a Saturday — and the Monday I went to the doctor to, like, confirm, another miscarriage. And they told me everything was great.”
She shared her sweet pregnancy news in August via an Instagram video. It began as an announcement for her Cry Pretty Tour 360, kicking off next spring, and then she added, “You might be wondering or asking, 'Carrie, why is your tour starting in May?'" The camera zoomed out to reveal four balloons spelling out B-A-B-Y hanging behind her.
The past two years have certainly been challenging for Underwood, but it thankfully looks like exciting things are to come.