Kara Keough Bosworth is keeping her late son's memory alive.
On Tuesday, the former "Real Housewives of Orange County" star shared a heartbreaking tribute to McCoy Casey Bosworth, who died of childbirth complications six days after he was born in April.
The 31-year-old shared a black-and-white photo that shows her holding and kissing her newborn son. In the caption, Bosworth recalls how she spent the following six days in the neonatal intensive care unit holding out hope that her son's condition would improve.
"Somehow, I kissed you a lifetime’s worth of kisses in six days. All without one kiss back. I still think about what it felt like to kiss you, and that I never got kissed back. It all still makes my throat ache like I’m being choked," she wrote.
McCoy would have turned 6 months old on Tuesday, and Bosworth said she often finds herself imagining what his personality would have been like. She has also found it challenging to process the sudden loss.
"And just where am I supposed to put all this love? This love that I reserved just for you? I still put it in you, of course. The love doesn’t leave just because you did. It’s a hard lesson to learn," she wrote.
Bosworth has regularly posted an emotional tribute to McCoy on Instagram every month to mark the passage of time. "I can feel it coming every month, like a pressure system building before the storm that comes on the 6th," she wrote in a post on Sept. 6.
After mourning her son over the past few months, Bosworth said she has found a way to channel her grief and honor his memory.
"Missing you something terrible doesn’t have to be the only way to miss you. I want to miss you wonderfully. As in, full of wonder. Recently, your Daddy held me as he told me: “Each day, when you feel that strong breeze, or the sun hits your face, or you hear our daughter laugh... that’s our son loving his mama,” she wrote.
The reality star and her husband, former NFL player Kyle Bosworth, also have a 4-year-old daughter, Decker Kate Bosworth. Bosworth recently revealed that Decker told her best friend that McCoy is in heaven and she plans to keep his memory alive for her daughter.
"I promise that this girl will hear about her baby brother. She will love him. She will miss him. When people ask how many kids I have, she will hear an answer that includes McCoy. She’ll hear me wishing him a 'goodnight' and saying 'I love you' when I tuck her in," she wrote on Instagram.