By Eric Ruhalter
This summer we parents and teachers and aunts and uncles should commit to learning the long-needed language that is tailor made for people who spend time around kids. Up until recently there were no words to describe many of the unique, unusual, sometimes-maddening things kids do or cause you to do. Now, there are, courtesy of “The Kid Dictionary: Hilarious Words to Describe the Indescribable Things Kids Do.” Try out some of these hot new words this summer.
Parents who find themselves dreading summer break suffer from:
STAYHOMOPHOBIA (stay-HO-muh-fo-bee-uh) n.: A parent’s fear of having their kids at home for the entire summer vacation.
A parent who has the need to keep their kids busy when they’re not in school lest they get in trouble might engage them in some:
DISTRACTIVITIES (dis-track-TIV-itt-ees) n.: Pointless, mindless tasks a parent assigns to a child for no other reason than to keep them occupied.
When you’re at the beach or amusement park and find yourself with one more kid than you arrived with, that would be a:
STRAYMATE (STRAY-mayt) n.: The kid you’ve never seen before who leaches onto your family at the playground or other recreational venue and doesn’t seem to have parents of his own anywhere in sight.
During the summer kids tend to stay up later or do more sleepovers, which makes for a bad scene the next day when they are:
SLUMBURNED (SLUMM-bernd) Adj.: A child’s state of being cranky and irritable the day after they stayed up way past their bedtime.
Summer also means the carnival is probably coming to a location near you. You can take the kids there and drop a ton of cash or you can:
CARNIVOID (CAR-niv-oyd) v.: To alter your driving route when your kids are in the car so you don’t pass by the traveling carnival that is in town.
Especially during the summer when moms are working their hardest, be very careful not to commit one of these:
DOMESTIC VIOLATION (doh-MESS-tik VY-o-lay-shun) v : The potentially lethal mistake of referring to a stay-at-home parent as someone who “doesn’t work.”
And don’t worry. In a few months everyone will be heading back to school, and some of you parents who have had a challenging summer will be able to bask in:
SEPTEMBILATION (sep-TEM-buhl-ay-shun) n.: The utter glee that washes over some stay-at-home parents at the end of summer when their kids return to school.
Eric Ruhalter's “The Kid Dictionary: Hilarious Words to Describe the Indescribable Things Kids Do” is available on Amazon. It may not make parenting easier, but it will definitely make it easier to describe. You can learn more words from The Kid Dictionary by reading the book or watching the fun video trailers at www.TheKidDictionary.com.
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