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Craig Melvin on teaching his biracial children the importance of Black history

My son is seven; my daughter is five. They’re still a bit young to have those serious conversations, but we know that we’ll have to have them eventually.
Craig Melvin with his wife, Lindsay Czarniak, and their two children.
Craig Melvin with his wife, Lindsay Czarniak, and their two children.craigmelvinnbc / Instagram

At one point during the pandemic, my son said about his sister: “Well, Sibby is white like Mommy, and I’m brown like Daddy.” All four of us were there, and I thought to myself: “We should probably use this as a teachable moment.” We explained that they are biracial. We explained that Mommy is white, and Daddy is Black, which means they are both. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter a whole lot, because we’re human beings, and that’s what is most important.  

Previously, my wife, Lindsay, and I were both a bit Pollyanna about how far we had come as a country and as a society — until the murder of George Floyd in 2020. His murder and the resulting protests and discussions happening across the world forced us to have some really honest conversations about how we were going to talk to our children about matters of race. My son is seven; my daughter is five. They’re still a bit young to have those serious conversations, but we know that we’ll have to have them eventually. 

Two weeks ago, we were giving my son a bath when he started singing a song. It starts as a hum, and then he sang. I said, “Oh, is that ‘We Shall Overcome’?” He said, “Yeah, how do you know that song?” I said, “Well, that was the anthem during the civil rights movement.” 

He had learned the song in music class and — here’s the thing I was proud of — it was before Black History Month. They taught the song to the entire class. For perspective, my son is one of two brown faces in the class. Black history must be incorporated into our history in a better way throughout the year. I do worry that there are people sometimes who hide behind Black History Month and use that as an excuse to not incorporate our history throughout the course of the year. 

Black History Month is about making sure that the story of our country is complete.

Craig Melvin

To be clear, I firmly believe that we still need a month devoted to Black history in this country, because there are clearly people who are unaware of our history. There are movements in our country that are devoted to whitewashing history, and nothing good comes from that. It’s not about promoting white guilt; what it’s about — or what it should be about — is making sure that the story of our country is complete. And that hasn’t always been the case, because there are parts of our history that are uncomfortable.  

My son and I have spent some time talking about civil rights and the 1960s and the marches for justice and equality, and what America was like two generations ago. I’ve shown him the “I Have a Dream” speech and introduced him to the Letter from Birmingham Jail. At the same time, Lindsay and I want to make sure it’s not just Martin Luther King, Jr. that he learns about, but other leaders of the civil rights movement, too. 

How do you explain to two bright-eyed, multiracial kids that there was a time in this country where people who look like Daddy would have been shackled and working for people who look like Mommy?

Craig Melvin

One of the things Lindsay and I haven’t yet talked about with our children is slavery. How do you explain to two bright-eyed, multiracial kids who live pretty charmed lives that there was a time in this country where people who look like Daddy would have been shackled and working for people who look like Mommy? How do you confront that ugly truth with biracial children? We’re going to do it, but we’re going to wait until they’re a little older and have a firmer grasp on reality. 

These are the conversations my wife and I have had, but I don’t think they’re conversations a lot of folks think about until they have children. There are a lot of people in this country who are dealing with this same dynamic — a parent of one race and a parent of another race. Recent Census data shows that the multiracial population in the U.S. continues to grow — from 9 million people in 2010 to 33.8 million in 2020. One in seven U.S. infants was multiracial or multiethnic in 2015, according to a Pew Research Center report. Those who are parents realize how absolutely essential it is to make sure their children don’t just know Black history, but understand why certain events were important. 

Lindsay and I have always gone out of our way to make sure that our kids are exposed to not just different places, but different people and cultures. I have long believed that exposure is our best tool to fight racism, hatred and xenophobia. It’s a lot easier to be suspicious of a person or a group of people you just don’t know. 

My hope is that we are raising two children who fully appreciate and understand what it means to be Black in America. They hopefully will appreciate and understand the sacrifices that their grandparents and great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents made so they can enjoy the kind of life where race isn’t as top-of-mind for them. My mother talks openly about being the first in her high school to integrate, and how hard that was. She was the first in her family to go to college. There are so many firsts like that, and I hope my kids get to enjoy some seconds and thirds — and that at some point in our history, there are not so many superlatives. 

As told to Rheana Murray. This interview has been edited and condensed.

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