A boy and his hair ...
There was a lot to unpack over the past year, including this. I’ve finally found the time to reflect about my son’s hair journey, and I wanted to share.
While some of my friends had newborns who needed a haircut coming out of the womb, my little miracle, Miles, was nearly bald when he was born in 2015. As months slipped by, there were moments when my husband, Michael, and I wondered if Miles would ever grow hair.
Eventually, to my delight, little patches of gold curls came swirling in and we couldn’t be happier. I didn’t care what his hair looked like — I was just happy that he had it! Family and friends celebrated and complimented Miles’ beautiful curls, while also warning me that they might all go away upon the first cut. So while other moms were sharing pictures of their first haircuts, I clung to the curls and skipped the barber shop.
As if it were making up for lost time, Miles’ hair grew and grew and grew … and with it grew the comments. At first it was “Wow, what adorable ringlets” and “That’s some head of hair.” However, when his hair started to sweep his shoulders, others would often mistake Miles for a girl. I was struck by how effortlessly Miles would say “Oh, I’m not a girl,” and with a huge smile share “I just have cool hair!” I, on the other hand, wasn’t sure how to feel, but I followed his lead. Miles was comfortable, and that was enough for me.
This was also happening at a time when our little family was coming face to face with so many big challenges. My husband suffered a stroke in 2019, at age 40, and with it came a string of medical complications. Miles’ hair just wasn’t the priority. With Michael’s health on a decline and a full-blown pandemic in motion, talk of a haircut drifted away. So we let it go and let it grow while Miles’ hair emerged as his signature and became a part of his identity.
When we were hit with the devastating reality of Michael’s passing, I knew that at that time, adding more change into Miles’ life was the last thing I wanted to do. When the topic did come up, Miles quietly revealed he was afraid that “Daddy wouldn’t recognize him from heaven.”
When the topic (of a haircut) did come up, Miles quietly revealed he was afraid that 'Daddy wouldn’t recognize him from heaven.'
After taking some time, and reassuring Miles that Daddy could never confuse him for another, we decided to go for the big chop. We went to meet Mylo (who used to cut Daddy’s hair) at my dear friend Rita Hazan’s salon, a familiar place for Miles’ thanks to his many visits with Michael and me, to ensure that he was surrounded by love and support.
One of Michael’s best friends, Al, even decided to cut his long hair off, too, in solidarity. Miles couldn’t have been happier with his new look, it was such a special moment.
Looking back, I remember wanting to share all of this when people would comment or ask about his hair, but then life would take over, as it always does.
Now I hope that this glimpse into our journey may help others feel seen or just act as a friendly reminder that we often don’t know what others are going through. Miles has since gone even shorter and is rocking the change. Although Miles’ hair is no longer as long (and definitely not as curly) as it once was, he has found his new hair groove — and to me, that’s spectacular.
