Daylight saving time is upon us! Sunday, March 14 is that magical time of year when parents across the land greet the coming of spring by being awoken at ungodly hours by extremely alert children.
Many great articles and resources out there offer helpful advice for how to make the time change easier with little ones. But let's get real, none of it will probably work and you're going to need ALL THE COFFEE to survive this weekend.
So grab that lukewarm mug that you forgot was in the microwave, and let's review some alternative tips for getting through "spring forward" with children.
1. Dwell in darkness
Blackout curtains can work wonders! A few layers of duct tape around the edges will help seal out unwelcome light, as well as erasing any doubt among visiting friends and family that you have completely lost your mind.
2. Feign death
When your children try to wake you up at 5 a.m. on the weekend, feign death. Make a note of which children attempt to perform CPR and which children use the opportunity to raid your secret cookie stash in the pantry. Adjust your will accordingly.
3. Be a different person. One who is more prepared
Start preparing ahead of time! Sixty days before the time change, start putting your children to bed one minute earlier every night. This weekend when we set the clocks forward, you’ll be all set! If you didn’t do this ahead of time, too bad — it’s too late now, there’s no hope for you.
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4. Trust the soothing power of routine
Stick with a routine. For example, if your bedtime routine consists of yelling “Brush your teeth! Just brush them! Your breath smells like Satan’s gym socks!” five times in a row and then threatening not to read any bedtime stories unless everyone puts on their pajamas RIGHT NOW, stick with it! Dependable routines are so important for children.
5. Dear God, what is that thing?!
Kids keep getting out of bed? Take a cue from Elf on the Shelf, and create your own Easter version to watch over those little rascals. The bigger the better! They’ll think twice about getting out of bed when there’s a terrifying, giant stuffed bunny head watching over them. Sure, they might be frozen with fear, but the important thing is they’re frozen with fear in bed.
6. Recognize that you've already failed
Make sure your child is well-rested going into the time change. Sleep begets sleep. So if you didn’t get the sleep thing perfected when your child was an infant, you should probably just give up now. Wow, you’re not very good at this, are you?
7. 10 points for Gryffindor!
This one’s for Harry Potter fans! Have them watch as you set the clocks forward, and tell them that Dumbledore gave you the power to control time and if they don’t get in bed and go to sleep right now, BUCKBEAK WILL DIE.
8. The best workout
When all this fails and your children wake you at zero-dark-thirty this weekend ready to play, remember that rocking back and forth in a fetal position while whimpering burns as many calories as a fast run. Haha, no it totally doesn’t! We’d be in such good shape if it did!
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