Congratulations, ya stupid lookin grandma and new parents-to-be!
While this pregnancy reveal cake may look just a wee bit unorthodox and a little insulting to outsiders, it hit the perfect playful note for a close-knit family that likes to joke around and tease each other in a silly and loving way.
“Happy Birthday Ya Stupid lookin Grandma,” read the cake that Hillary Hinrichs presented to her mom, Terry Overfelt, at a family gathering, breaking the news that she and her husband, Derek, were expecting their first child.
“The ‘stupid lookin Grandma’ is totally a term of endearment,” Hinrichs, 30, told TODAY. “It’s our way of being playful with my mom and using an inside family joke and at the same time introducing the word ‘grandma,’ which will be her new role.”
“Our love language is sarcasm,” added Hinrichs, of St. Louis, Missouri. “There’s no question — it never crossed anybody’s mind that it wasn’t a joke.”
As Hinrichs set the cake down, Overfelt, 58, scanned it to see if the names of all four relatives whose birthdays were being celebrated that day were included. But she quickly figured out the meaning behind the sweet, if salty sounding, inscription.
“As I read it and realized the last word was ‘Grandma,’ I was just so overwhelmed with happiness for Hillary and Derek and for the baby and was just flooded with joy and gratitude,” said Overfelt, who found the cake hilarious.
Hinrichs said says “stupid lookin” is a term that’s thrown around a lot in her family and is funny and meaningful to them. “If I explained it, it wouldn’t be a family inside joke,” she said. “Where’s the fun in that?”
But her mom said that in this case, to her, it almost meant the opposite of what it said. “They love me enough to call me stupid looking,” is how she interpreted the message on the cake.
Overfelt, who has another daughter and a son, says her family’s bold, sometimes crass sense of humor might sound rude and thoughtless to others.
“But to us, because we are so close and crazy about each other, it makes us laugh, that you would say something like that,” Overfelt said. “Because it’s never what we would say in any kind of hateful way.”
When her kids were young, Overfelt thought that if she ever saw the words “shut up” or “stupid” written on the wall of a public bathroom, she would know who did it.
“I’ll know it was my kids because in our house, those were bad words,” Overfelt said. “Now that we’re adults, those have become very playful bad words that never have any malice attached, but are an endearing and daring affection.”
Hinrichs said the cake was the perfect way to share the pregnancy news. She knew everyone would be paying attention to the inscription because in January, she presented a cake to her brother’s fiancee with a “very sarcastic” message that, sadly, she wouldn’t share.
The pregnancy reveal came on April 8, when both sides of the family had gathered at the Hinrichs' home. Hinrichs was 10 weeks pregnant, and had been having a hard time containing her big news. She even drank soda out of beer bottles that weekend to preserve the surprise.
When Overfelt realized her daughter was pregnant, she got up to hug her, and the whole family realized what was happening. Cue the ugly tears.
“We all try to live our emotions without hesitation or reservation,” Hinrichs said. “My family, we always look like a train wreck after we’ve been crying. We love ugly crying.”
But there’s no doubt, those were tears of happiness, as the daughter that the Hinrichses are expecting on November 1 — their third wedding anniversary — will be the first grandchild on both sides of their family.