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“I get so many messages on Instagram about how ‘hands on’ my husband is. And even people telling me that we are ‘couple goals,’” Constance Hall wrote in a message that has been reacted to 80,000 times. “The truth is that having a baby has pushed my relationship to the absolute edge.”
Hall explains how she had no choice but to take on the majority of the work after a baby’s arrival. That inequality strains even the healthiest of relationships.
“I can handle upping my work load. I really can. But what I can’t handle is the unjust, unfair living arrangements that commonly follow the birth of the baby,” she said. “I am lonely. I wake up with my baby at 6 a.m. and I’m in bed exhausted by 8 p.m. That’s the thing about babies, they take away all of your alone time and somehow leave you feeling incredibly lonely.”
Her message resonated with so many.
“I feel this in so many levels and my partner is a wonderful dad and partner and very kind and thoughtful but man I feel this so hard right now,” Holly C. shared.
Another mom pointed out her own frustration with how people treat her differently than her husband.
“My husband wore our youngest in the ergo carrier the other day and the whole f---ing time people smiled and made how comments about how beautiful it was, how lucky I am, how great he is,” Brooke G. said in the comments. “I wear the baby every mf day, no one smiles or tells my husband how lucky he is.”
Hall said she’s not man-bashing; she just needed to express her frustrations.
“I’m f---ing exhausted, so many night feeds, remembering to buy school stuff for next year, to bathe all my kids, wash all the clothes, dishes, supermarket, take them out to tire them out, answer 5 thousand questions a day with a smile and keep this house looking relatively clean,” she shared. “Is this what equality looks like? You have a baby and you become insect repellant to husbands.”
Moms cheered Hall for her candid message.
“Thank you for the honesty. I still think you are a ‘couples goal,’ because you are BOTH committed to working through the hard times together,” Elanor M. wrote. “Keep talking, keep demanding better from Sir, because you are teaching your sons not to be one-eyed, and teaching your daughters not to kill themselves with selflessness.”