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The touching reason Chrissy Teigen travels with her late son's ashes

The cookbook author experienced a devastating pregnancy loss in September 2020.
/ Source: TODAY

Chrissy Teigen is reflecting on how pregnancy loss affects the whole family, a year after her baby son Jack’s death.

In an interview with Scary Mommy, Teigen revealed that her kids, Luna, 5, and Miles, 3, whom she shares with husband John Legend, find comfort in traveling with their late brother’s ashes.

“[When] we go on a vacation or something, they always say, ‘Don’t forget baby Jack.’ And then I have to pack him up,” Teigen shared. “And then when we get to where we’re going, they’re like, ‘Oh my gosh, he must be thirsty.’ This might sound crazy to people, but they’ll put a little glass of water next to his little box of ashes. And they really love being a part of it.”

Jack died in September 2020 after 20 weeks of a complicated pregnancy, which included a partial placenta abruption diagnosis. Teigen noted that Luna and Miles began to process the loss when Jack’s ashes were returned after his cremation.

“I think, that they started to be able to say, ‘OK, this happened. Here he is now. He didn’t make it,’” Teigen explained. “It was something for them to be able to put a story to, where we could say, ‘OK Jack is in here and he is going to stay with us. And maybe one day we might release him.’”

Teigen also opened up about how Jack’s death was a wake-up call for how she was living. The cookbook author announced at the end of 2020 that she had stopped drinking. In 2021, she apologized in the wake of allegations that she had engaged in online bullying in the past.

“Before I had gotten pregnant with Jack, I wasn’t living a healthy life. The way I was treating my body was not great, with the alcohol,” Teigen explained.

She added that if Jack had survived, she would likely be in a much different place.

“I wouldn’t have learned how precious life is and how precious my body is. Now I look at my body as something that I can’t yell at and I can’t be upset with. It’s gotten through so much, and so much more than people even know. What it has persevered through has been incredible,” Teigen said.

As for her mental health, that has improved drastically in the wake of Jack's passing. Teigen said she no longer holds "any anger," thanks to "so much therapy."

"I was kind of an angry brat before. I would get riled up at the smallest things,” she admitted. But today, Teigen feels calm and more like a "complete, whole person." She credits Jack for that.

“I feel like I’m a better mom, I’m a better wife, and I’m a better friend,” Teigen revealed. “I love being a part of the world.”