Chrissy Teigen is feeling pensive as she continues to mourn her recent pregnancy loss.
Teigen — who's mom to daughter Luna, 4, and son Miles, 2 — lost the son she and husband John Legend had begun calling Jack when she was 20 weeks pregnant in September.
“This is me and my body, just yesterday,” she captioned a photo of herself looking in a mirror on Instagram Wednesday.
“Even though I’m no longer pregnant, every glance in the mirror reminds me of what could have been. And I have no idea why i still have this bump, honestly. It’s frustrating. But I’m proud of where this entire journey took my body and mind in other ways.”
While Teigen, 35, is devastated about the loss of her child, she is trying to find a silver lining by remembering the positives in her life.
“I love being pregnant, so so much, and I’m sad I never will be again,” she wrote. “But I am lucky to have two amazing little ones who are transforming into big little people more and more every single day. Anyhoo. Love u guys. Xx.”
The memory of Jack will never be far from Teigen.
"I’m not tweeting much because I’m honestly in a bit of a grief depression hole but do not worry as I have so much help around me to get better and I’ll be fixed soon," she tweeted. "they’ll call when im better and ready for pickup and u can swing by and grab me ok? thank u and love you!"
Late last month, Teigen revealed she was finally able to shower again.
"I just had my first shower in like two months,” she said in a video on her Instagram story. “I’ve been taking baths because I couldn’t stand to be in the shower. I couldn’t, like, physically stand in the shower.”
“I feel really, really good,” she added. “I feel very clear and very good.”
Teigen has also remained appreciative of all the people who've wished her and Legend well.
"For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness," she wrote in a late October essay for Medium. "Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes. Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, 'you probably won’t read this, but…' I can assure you, I did."
Legend has also remained by her side the last few months and even dedicated his song "Never Break" to her at the Billboard Music Awards in October.
“I’m in awe of the strength you’ve shown through the most challenging moments. What an awesome gift it is to be able to bring life into the world,” he said. “We’ve experienced the miracle, the power and joy of this gift, and now we’ve deeply felt its inherent fragility.”