Kim Kardashian broke down in tears while discussing the difficulty of co-parenting with Kanye West during an interview with Angie Martinez, host of the “Angie Martinez IRL” podcast.
Kardashian shares custody of four children with ex-husband West: North, 9, Saint, 7, Chicago, 4, and Psalm, 3.
"I'll do anything to keep their life as normal as possible," Kardashian told Martinez during the interview, which aired on Monday, Dec. 26.
The public spectacle of the couple's divorce has put a lot of unwanted attention on Kardashian's relationship with West, she said, but she told Martinez that she's trying not to vilify him. "One day my kids will thank me ... for not bashing their dad," she said.
Kardashian said she is putting on a brave face for the world, but it's not easy behind the scenes.
“I definitely protected him, and I still will in the eyes of my kids. For my kids. So, in my home, my kids don’t know anything that goes on [in] the outside world,” Kardashian told Martinez.
Kardashian’s parents split up when she was about 10 years old — not much older than her daughter North is now. Kardashian got choked up as she explained how the importance of her relationship with her father, the late Robert Kardashian, motivates her to stay even keeled when it comes to discussing West at home.
"I have the best memories and the greatest experience and that's what I would want for them," Kardashian told Martinez.
Kardashian said that she will wait until the kids are older to have potentially difficult conversations, but until then, she will keep her tears and turmoil to herself.
"No matter what we are going through, I have to have that smile on my face and blast his music and sing along with my kids," she said. "[I can] act like nothing is wrong and as soon as I drop them off, I can have a good cry."
Kardashian emphasized that sometimes she feels deeply affected by the struggle to maintain a sense of normalcy.
“I am holding on by a thread. I know that I am so close to that not happening, but while it is still that way, I will protect that to the end of the Earth as long as I can. My kids don’t know anything,” she told Martinez.
She said she has been able to find allies in the teachers at her children's school and they tell her what's going on — both with her kids and those around them.
“Some of my best friends are the teachers so I know what goes on at recess and lunchtime," she noted.
She said those relationships don't shield her completely from some of the gossip about her family: "I hear what is being talked about.” But at least for now, she said she has been able to protect her kids.
"They don't know anything," she said. And Kardashian is aiming to keep it that way for as long as possible.