“It’s a lot of, ‘Oh, are you the nanny?’ No one has ever outright asked, ‘Did you kidnap that child?’ But that’s what they’re trying to figure out,” Wilder, 31, told TODAY Parents, noting that she's been followed around stores.
When the mom in Texas runs errands with all four of her kids — three are mixed race — people will stop and ask if she runs a day care.
“I’m like, ‘Nope. These four are mine. I take care of them all day, every day. I worry about them all the time. I’m their mother,’” Wilder said.
In a video that has gone viral on TikTok, Wilder addresses some of assumptions people have made about her relationship with her adoptive daughter. (Wilder asked that TODAY Parents not share her children’s names.)
The clip shows Wilder and the first grader answering questions set to Lil Skeet’s hit “Nope Yup.”
“Are you the nanny?" (“Nope!”)
“Are you her mother?” (“Yup!”)
“Did you husband cheat on you?” (“Nope!”)
“Does she call you Mommy?” (Yup!)
“Is she biologically yours?” (“Nope!”)
“Do you love her unconditionally?” (“Yup!”)
Wilder and her husband, Drue Wilder, always knew they wanted to grow their family through adoption. Four years ago, they received a phone call from social services that one of Drue’s relatives, a 2-year-old girl, needed a new home.
The Wilders welcomed the toddler with open arms.
“We realized quickly that she hadn’t been introduced to a lot of Black people or people of color. I think she was in shock,” Wilder explained. “We’ve always talked a lot about race in our home because my husband and I are an interracial couple. So, we just started having even more conversations about skin color. We explained how being in a family has nothing to do with skin color.”
Wilder will never forget the first time her daughter called her Mommy.
“It was about a year after she moved in and it was the best day ever,” Wilder told TODAY Parents. "I was like, 'OK. My daughter is feeling my love. My daughter is feeling like she’s part of this family,' and that’s all I ever wanted.”
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