Being a dad is exhausting and frustrating — but the pain increases exponentially for Girl Dads. I have two daughters and I keep seeing all of these stories about why being a girl dad is so great, but I think it’s high time someone told all the truth around here. So without further ado, here are five reasons why being a girl dad sucks.
1. You’re the first man your daughters will ever love.
Studies have shown that a positive father-daughter bond can help with girls’ self-esteem, body image, relationships, grades in school and much more. How good (or bad) I am at the job of raising my little girls plays a huge role in how successful they’ll be in life. Do you understand the pressure that comes with that? I mean, I’m built for it, but sheesh — parenting is stressful enough without having that hanging over my head on a daily basis.
2. You have to be labeled a feminist.
Feminism is defined as the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. I’m not a Neanderthal, so obviously I’m on board with this, but why do I need the label? I’ve been proud to be a feminist for my entire adult life, but now I wonder if I’m going to get side-eyed glares from immature meatheads if I wear a shirt like this in public. It would really suck so bad not to have their approval.
3. Girls can do things just as well as boys.
Hear me out on this one. I coach my second grade daughter’s basketball team, and they played against a boys’ team during their first game. My team won that game 28-2 and my daughter scored 20 of our team’s points.
It was one of the most bittersweet experiences of my life. Yes, I’m glad our team won, but it shattered everything I thought I knew. Boys are supposed to be stronger, smarter and more talented than girls, but my team made those boys literally cry in front of my own two eyes. It made me realize that girls and women could be just as successful if they were given the same opportunities as the opposite sex. Everything I learned from my fraternity brothers in college was completely wrong. Do you know how much it sucks to come to grips with that?
4. Doing girl hair is not fun.
The scariest words in the English language are, “Daddy can you make me an Anna braid?” You know, Princess Anna from “Frozen” fame. She has two fancy braids and I feel like I’m constantly drifting “into the unknown” every time I break out the comb and brush. I’ve spent countless hours watching YouTube tutorials and I even went viral for posting a photo of me styling my oldest daughter’s hair. Yes, I know that my girls couldn’t care less about how their hair looks (at least for now), they just love the fact that I care enough to show up and try. But it still sucks. I shave my head. It’s the easiest thing in the world. I see French braids in my nightmares.
5. I have to own a shotgun.
To each their own, but I’m not a gun person. However, that doesn’t stop men and women alike from approaching me to say, “You better get a shotgun for when your girls get old enough to date boys.” I don’t get it. I figured that I could just raise my daughters to make good decisions, be in charge of their bodies, and demand respect from boys, but apparently I have to purchase firearms as well? That totally sucks.
For those of you who couldn’t decipher my tongue-in-cheek dad jokes, please know that raising my two daughters is easily the greatest blessing I’ve ever received and I absolutely love being a Girl Dad. In a world where misogyny runs rampant, I promise to do everything I can to ensure my daughters (and your daughters) grow up to live in a kinder and more equitable world. Happy Father’s Day — especially to my fellow Girl Dads.
Making French braids still sucks, though. I’ll stand by that one forever.
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