Ali Fedotowsky-Manno considers herself an open book. But the former Bachelorette struggled with the decision of whether or not to share her miscarriage story.
“There is shame involved,” Fedotowsky-Manno, 35, revealed while speaking with People. “I always thought the shame was because your body couldn’t carry a baby… But for me, where the shame came was not feeling that I deserved any sort of support after — feeling that what I went through wasn’t the same as someone who goes through it when they’d been trying for years or when they were 20 weeks pregnant.”
Fedotowsky-Manno noted that she is already a mom. (She shares 4-year-old daughter, Molly, and 2-year-old son, Riley, with her husband, Kevin Manno.)
“I have two beautiful children,” Fedotowsky-Manno explained. “So I felt shame in being supported.”
But last month, Fedotowsky-Manno opened up on Instagram about her loss.
"I realized all of the reasons I didn't want to post were the reasons I had to post," she said.
“I had a miscarriage recently. (I’m at the OBGYN right now for a follow up),” Fedotowsky-Manno wrote on July 21. “I’m not sharing this bc I feel sorry for myself or I want others to tell me they feel sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I feel sad for what could’ve been. Sad for the baby that was growing inside me. Sad because it’s sad.”
A recent study published earlier this year found that 29% of women suffer from PTSD after a miscarriage, 24% have anxiety and 11% experience moderate to severe depression.
“Women need to talk about the profound nature of our loss. Research is now backing up what we all know,” Julia Bueno, a psychotherapist who specializes in pregnancy loss, previously told TODAY Parents. “Grief is the price of a love.”