The 21 funniest parents on social media this week

One of the kids woke me up to ask if I was still sleeping, if any of you were thinking of having children.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 25, 2020

I may not have caught the virus but I’ve managed to catch a few pounds, some anxiety and a taste for social distance.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) June 22, 2020

And then after the murder hornets, NASCAR will lead the war against racial inequality...

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 23, 2020

Has anyone threatened to take away TV from racists when they throw tantrums about flags or statues being removed?

That method works on most toddlers.

— A Bearer Of Dad News ✊🏾 (@HomeWithPeanut) June 23, 2020

Kids: mom, I heard the pool was open. Can we go?

Me: *thinking about trying to put on my swimsuit* nope still not safe, sorry!

— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) June 22, 2020

My husband just told me he wants a divorce.

Actually his exact words were “I think it would be cool for the whole family to live in an RV and travel the country for a year,” but tomato, to-mah-to

— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) June 24, 2020

I can't remember the exact question, but I know that elastic waistbands are the answer.

— Christina Crawford (@mommy_dopest) June 22, 2020

Today I over heard my 3 year-old son say 'Privyet' which is 'Hello' in Russian. I found this rather curious so I checked Youtube and he's been watching Russian cartoons. I guess what I'm saying is, @CIA @FBI I believe the Soviets have compromised my son what do i do

— Yukon Guzman 🇨🇦🇩🇪🇮🇪 (@GrahamKritzer) June 23, 2020

If you and your spouse don’t fall asleep at night with your backs to each other staring at your phones while they charge are you even married?

— MidwestEvan 🧀 (@MidwestEvan) June 20, 2020

3 has been watching “Beauty and the Beast” all morning and now she’s saying “bonjour” everytime she walks into a room. Don’t tell me screentime is bad for kids, this bish is speaking French.

— Mommy Uncensored (@amomuncensored) June 24, 2020

You know you’re a mom when your crushes are actors on your kids’ shows.

— Lessons from the Minivan (@FromMinivan) June 23, 2020

I was talking to my son and he casually pulled a bag of chips out from under his pillow, and started eating without breaking eye contact

He living his best life

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 23, 2020

Sometimes I worry about my daughter getting the wrong ideas about romantic relationships, but as we were eating, I overheard heard her mutter “I’m gonna marry this burrito,” so...nah, she’s good.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) June 24, 2020

“What to Expect When You’re Expecting” did not include having to fish toothbrushes and underwear out of the u-bend in the toilet because the 3-year-old got curious.

— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) June 24, 2020

Nobody prepares you for the transition from bringing home your tiny baby girl with the tiniest feet, to sliding her shoes on - that actually fit you - to grab the mail 11 years later.

— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) June 25, 2020