Stars. They really aren’t like us, particularly when it comes to dating.
Martha Stewart’s recent revelation that she has a hard time finding dates may have stunned the general public, but it probably didn’t surprise other celebrities just as famous, rich and powerful as the multimedia mogul.
Actors, singers, politicians, executives and other high-profile individuals who are single often have the same dating problems as everyone else – along with “six to 10 major things that most of us don’t have to worry about,” said Amber Kelleher-Andrews, chief executive of the high-end matchmaking service, Kelleher International.
“We’ve always been known as the company working for the billionaires, the CEOs and the celebrities because we realized years ago, this is the toughest group to date,” she said. “Everybody thinks it’s the easiest, but it’s the toughest.”
Prominent people who are single often have to keep their guard up to protect themselves from individuals interested in their money or their fame. Finding potential dates who also are discreet can be tough, celebrities insist.
Actress Ashley Greene has said she's had a difficult time dating since becoming an actress because she’s often wary of people’s intentions.
"Dating is a hard, hard thing when you have got this job,” the “Twilight” star told GQ magazine last fall.
"Sometimes I wish I could just go back to Florida and, like, date my hometown boyfriend,” she said.
Heidi Klum complained about the lack of privacy when she started dating her longtime bodyguard last year after splitting from estranged husband, Seal.
“It’s very hard when you start seeing somebody again,” the supermodel told Katie Couric. "It's hard then when everyone is watching you. It's almost like you can't have a real proper chance in a way. And I do want to date again. I'm turning 40. I don't even know where it's going to go.”
Time constraints are another reason why many high-profile individuals have a hard time finding companions. That was the case for Stewart.
The domestic diva surprised many last month when she revealed she needed help getting dates since her last long-term relationship ended several years ago. The 71-year-old grandmother then agreed to join Match.com for help finding someone.
Stewart said her work schedule was one factor keeping her from more dates.
“I think someone might find my life a little frenetic or busy,” she said. “Early hours, late nights. It's a long day.”
Earlier this year while on a press tour, Mila Kunis said she found busy filming schedules a big hurdle to dating.
"I think love in general is challenging. I think people want it to be very easy, and I feel like the first two years maybe are great and then you got to work at it," she said. "But then you put it in a setting where everybody travels all the time and you don't see each other very often and you're away for six or seven months out of the year – I think that kind of puts a little bit of a strain.”
U.S. Rep. Loretta Sanchez understands the havoc work-related time demands can wreak on a love life.
“It’s just an eye opener for most people who would date someone like us,” said the 53-year-old California Democrat, who left the single scene about two years ago when she got married.
“It’s like, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I can’t go away with you for the weekend. I’m booked. Oh you want to see me? I might have two hours on Saturday afternoon three weeks from now,’” she said. “It’s very difficult to find time on our schedule when we’re scheduled up two months in advance.”
It also may be tough for some people to play second fiddle to their date. Sanchez recalled the surprise a partner at her husband’s law firm expressed back when he learned the two had started dating.
“He told him at the time, ‘I would never date somebody where, when I’m talking with her and somebody comes up, that person wants to talk to her and not to me,’” she said. “It was a power thing.”
Standards appear to be softer when it comes to men in high-profile positions than for women, Sanchez pointed out. Single guys can go through a revolving door of dates and remain untouched in public perception, but a woman’s reputation can be damaged by having too many partners.
“Especially for politicians because we’re supposed to be a little bit more on the conservative, social value side. We’re supposed to be meeting that perfect man at church but that’s not really how things work,” she said.
Kelleher-Andrews pointed to Taylor Swift as an example of a woman with the dating-odds stacked against her.
The 22-year-old superstar is no different than anyone else her age who probably goes through a handful of boyfriends within a period of years, she said.
“That’s normal. You date someone a few months and then you move on. Nobody is really looking to find ‘the one’ at 22 years old. But look at how much criticism she’s had because she hasn’t stayed with any of these guys for very long. Do we really need her to stay with them?” Kelleher-Andrews said.
“If two or three weeks later she realizes, ‘Eh, I don’t think this guy’s for me,’ all of a sudden she’s got an issue? She has something wrong with her? Maybe, she’s just a normal 22-year-old and this is what every other 22-year-old is going through.”
Selena Gomez can relate. In the June edition of InStyle magazine, the singer and actress opened up about what it was like to date Justin Bieber.
“It’s uncomfortable that everywhere I go, people know. I don’t like that,” the 20-year-old said about her three-year on-again, off-again relationship. She also said she can't predict whether the two will reconcile.
“You can’t help who you date. So I wouldn’t swear off that or say that’s what I want again," she said. "I don’t know. I’m a kid, and a breakup is normal."