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The truth is, this is about so much more than a Facebook Live video of a woman putting on a plastic Chewbacca mask and laughing hysterically into the wind.
It's about so much more than the fact that somehow, SOMEHOW — at over 50 million views so far — her video has surpassed the record-holder for the most-watched Facebook Live video of all time (better luck next time, BuzzFeed).
And it's about more than the equally strange fact that the previous record-holding video was one of a watermelon exploding under pressure from hundreds of rubber bands.
It's about life. It's about why we're here and what we're living for. It's about you and me ... and everyone else on this planet we call Earth.
Listen. I was confused at first, too. Why is this woman filming herself, and how did she manage to get upwards of 47 million views (and counting)? Why is she putting on that mask and laughing? Why are people from countries around the world tuning in to watch her? And, finally, how ... how did I end up here?
But then I decided to let go. I decided to allow the words and the laughter and the moving images to flow over me until they melded together into a cacophony that was something like a new language, a new world, into which I entered in a blissful state of Zen, and — BAM. Suddenly, everything made sense. Everything.
Watching this woman in her plastic mask, I suddenly realized ... I don't need money. I don't need a big house or a fancy car. I don't need an iPhone or nice clothes.
The secret to true happiness was right there in front of me. In front of all of us. It's a Chewbacca mask from Kohl's, and it's on sale now for $17.99, reduced from the original $44.99.
Candace Payne, the woman in the video to whom I, and you, owe everything, told TODAY.com in a phone interview: "I feel like I really helped people, and that's all that matters. People reach out to me, and they say, you know, 'I battle depression,' or, 'I haven't laughed out loud since such-and-such event.' And that's been so great. I've only been seeing positive feedback."
In the video, she puts on the mask, opens her mouth SnapChat style (or, you know, human-opening-her-mouth style), and Chewbacca noises come out as she begins her minute-and-a-half laughter fest.
"That's not me making that noise," she shrieks, solving the questions that have plagued all of our minds since birth. "It's the mask."
It's the mask.
What compelled her to do such a thing? As she explained, "It was the fact that I'm a stay-at-home mom, and when I went shopping by myself, I thought, you know what, I'm gonna put this on Facebook because some of my friends who are also moms might get a kick out of this toy.
"It was one of those things where I just thought, 'This is too great to pull out of a box all by mself. We need to rejoice in this together.' Plus, I'm a huge 'Star Wars' fan."
Should we all have realized much earlier that the realization of one's truest potential would come in the form of a mask from Kohl's?
Are we all fools for not having understood that the key to pure, honest joy was right in front of us all this time, requiring just 2 AAA batteries and promising a truly hassle-free return policy?
Unfortunately, the masks are now sold out.
Back to the drawing board, people.