We imagine Rosie O'Donnell wouldn't mind throwing a wrench at David Letterman.
After announcing her engagement this week to new gal-pal Michelle Rounds, the talk-show host and outspoken gay activist wasn't thrilled with a wisecrack the "Late Show" emcee made about their pending nuptials when he compared her to a tow-truck driver.
So what did he say that Rosie felt was so offensive?
"The woman she is marrying, her fiancee, was driving ... and her car broke down. And guess what happened? Rosie pulls up right behind her in her tow truck," joked Letterman in his monologue on Tuesday's episode.
On "The Rosie Show" airing Friday on OWN, O'Donnell couldn't help but respond in kind to the gap-toothed comic for what she perceived to be a not so subtle slight at her sexuality (the old lesbian-as-mechanic label?).
"Why is that Dave? Why? I don't remember making fun of you when you had sex with all your interns! I didn't do that," she complained. "I didn't make fun of your rampant, throbbing heterosexuality, did I Dave?"
Naturally, the 50-year-old funnylady took the opportunity to lob a few more shots with a Top Ten Five Reasons Why I Will Not Do Your Program. Among them?
"Dave, when you had that heart surgery, you shouldn't have told the doctors to take out that whole thing," O'Donnell cracked. "I remember when you had one, Dave, you were nice then."
And: "Not only do you appear to be antigay, you're anti-tow truck driver and that just pisses me off."
Quick! Someone get these two in a Super Bowl ad!