One, two, Gritty's comin' for you...
The Philadelphia Flyers have unveiled their new googly-eyed, red-furred nightmare fuel of a mascot, Gritty, who is here to ensure that anyone who encounters him never gets a full night of sleep again.
Looking like an unholy union between a Fraggle and an orangutan, Gritty's giant red beard is already in playoff form.
Gritty was introduced during a preseason game against the Bruins on Monday night, presumably to give small children enough time to come out from hiding behind their seats and see therapists before the regular season begins.
He actually made his first appearance in front of some 600 students from across Philadelphia at the Please Touch Museum in Fairmount Park earlier in the day, according to a news release by the team.
Gritty is the team's first mascot since one named Slapshot, who appeared only briefly in 1976, according to the Flyers. It may be another 42 years before fans can recover from this one.
The team also noted in its release that Gritty "has picked up solid skating and hockey abilities."
If you think Gritty is terrifying on his own, wait until he has a T-shirt gun in his hand.
The bottom line is that Gritty is here, and he's ready to give King Cake Baby of the New Orleans Pelicans a run for the most terrifying mascot in professional sports.
He is not gonna stop until everyone alive knows of his haunting presence.
Nine, ten, never sleep again...