The weekend is upon us, and chances are you're going to run into some know-it-all at the coffee shop or across from you at dinner. "Oh, heyyyyy, crazy week, huh? Can you believe that story about blah dee blah blah?"
"Blah dee blah blah" is the stuff we cover, and we're here to make you look smarter than that guy. Or at least look like you may have been on the Internet a couple times this week looking at fun stuff.
We know you're busy, so we're gonna get you out of here in 10 clicks.
1. Don Cornelius, the smooth-talking host of the iconic TV dance show "Soul Train," died on Wednesday of a self-inflicted gunshot wound at his California home. He was 75. To borrow his weekly signoff: "Love, peace and soul ..."
2. One Million Moms, a group that apparently doesn't sit around and watch Ellen DeGeneres' talk show, tried to get J.C. Penney to dump her as national spokeswoman because she's gay. Attention shoppers: The retailer said no.
3. Meanwhile, on Ellen's actual show, actress Kristen Bell provided the comic relief of the week by recounting how a sloth, given to her on her birthday by her fiance, reduced her to tears.
4. "The X Factor" will no longer mark the spot for judges Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger and host Steve Jones. After just one season, Simon Cowell is cleaning house on the Americanized version of his reality singing show.
5. Need a little culture? Spain's Prado Museum uncovered a twin "Mona Lisa" that was almost certainly painted by one of Leonardo da Vinci's apprentices alongside the master himself as he did the original.
6. There's nothing worthwhile opening in theaters this weekend, so you might as well get excited about the surviving members of Monty Python reuniting to make another movie. "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."
7. Expectant mom Jessica Simpsontweeted a picture of her puffy, pouty lips this week and asked, "Is this how pregnancy face begins?!" We wondered, "Is this why we're on Twitter?!"
8. Gwyneth Paltrow made news without emailing us about what we should be putting in our dietary cleanse. The actress tells Harper's Bazaar: "I used to have a boyfriend who would cheat on me all the time ... I was quite naive."
9. Brad Pitt, a Paltrow ex from way back when, made his first visit to the TODAY show studios on Wednesday. The "Moneyball" star brought along co-star Jonah Hill and they talked baseball and Oscars. Watch below:
10. Done thinking about baseball? Good, because there's one more football game that demands your attention with Sunday's Super Bowl. All you need to know is that Gisele Bundchen's boyfriend's team is playing the New York Giants. And Madonna is the halftime act.
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