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'Today hurts': Amanda Kloots reflects 1-year anniversary of husband Nick's death

"It was my 'Nick era' and I'll have it forever," Kloots wrote.
/ Source: TODAY

One year ago, actor Nick Cordero lost his battle with COVID-19, dying on July 5, 2020 from complications after contracting the virus. He was just 41.

And one year later, his widow Amanda Kloots, continues her struggle with mourning and finding a way to understand and cope with his loss. Her latest effort is an Instagram post of videos and photos featuring Nick, herself and their 2-year-old son Elvis, honoring the anniversary of his death, calling their marriage her "Nick era":

"One year," she wrote in the caption. "Today hurts, there is no other way around it. One year ago you left us and became our angel in heaven. You were surrounded by so much love and Led Zeppelin playing on Spotify — no doubt that was your doing, not mine."

She continued, "What happened was unthinkable, losing you was my biggest fear. I used to tell you all the time, 'Don't you dare go anywhere. If I lost you, I don't know what I'd do.' There hasn’t been a day this year where you weren't missed, thought about and talked about. Thank you for being our guardian angel, for sending me signs, for being my DJ in heaven."

Cordero was a Broadway actor ("Waitress," "Rock of Ages") who earned a Tony nomination for his role in "Bullets Over Broadway." He and Kloots, 39, a dancer and fitness instructor (and since his death, a co-host on "The View") married in 2017 and Elvis was born in 2019. He contracted COVID last March and spent three months fighting it. His lungs were "severely damaged" Kloots said on Instagram in April 2020, and eventually Cordero's right leg had to be amputated due to blood clots, dying a few months later.

Nick Cordero and Amanda Kloots and the cast 'Bullets Over Broadway' perform onstage.
Nick Cordero and Amanda Kloots with the cast of "Bullets Over Broadway" performing at the Tony Awards in June 2014 in New York City. Theo Wargo / Getty Images

Since then, Kloots has been devoted to speaking about him publicly as often as possible, to help keep his memory alive. During June she revealed a rainbow tattoo she'd gotten that reminds her of their family; she promoted her book, "Live Your Life: My Story of Loving and Losing Nick Cordero" on TODAY, saying, "I know Nick would want me to move forward," and told The New York Times that she's "determined to keep his voice alive."

In her message on Instagram today, she added, "We only had a few short years together but they were filled with so much love, laughter, adventure, dreams, change and growth. It was my 'Nick era' and I’ll have it forever."

Celebrity friends have chimed in with comments: "Thinking of you today and holding you so close. Love you," wrote Jennifer Love Hewitt. "Sending you so much love," added Ashley Tisdale.

Kloots also made sure to point out the first song playing on the anniversary video images, saying it was called "A Few Stars Apart," and was by "the incredible" Lucas Nelson.

"The lyrics are so beautiful but these in the second verse get me every time," she wrote, then quoted the key lines: "And it's hard not to hold you / But I'm still on the ground / I miss the light you gave me / I miss your lovin' sound / Never a night will go by / Forgettin' the stars in the sky."