If you think "gravedigger" or "swamp night security guard" is the scariest job in America, the trick is on you.
CareerBuilder released the results of a new online survey conducted this summer that asked 3,103 American workers across industries what jobs they found most "frightful."
Respondents could choose from a list of answers or enter their own, and some of them were pretty surprising.
"Mortician" made the list, which makes sense because of all the dead people. So did "Crime Scene Investigator," also because of the death and dismemberment. Along those lines, the very topical "Microbologist for Infectious Diseases" also ranked, thanks to Ebola.
Acrophobics said "no thanks" to "Radio, Cellular and Tower Equipment Installer and Repairer." Lionphobes need not apply for "Animal Trainer."
The fear of public speaking and exposure propelled two other jobs onto the list as well: "Politician" and "Stand up Comedian." One makes jokes, the other is one. Neither is very appealing for most of the survey takers.
A whole swath of people seem to have a fear of children. You'll never find them hunting Craigslist ads for jobs as a "Kindergarten Teacher" or "Security Guard at Teen Pop Idol Concert." Being scared of kids is also behind what has to be the scariest job of all, though it does have the most rewarding treats. "Parent."
Email Ben at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @bpopken.