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88 bad jokes that are so dumb they're actually funny

Including cringe-worthy puns and corny laughs that'll give your dad a run for his money.

Dad jokes are in a league of their own.

The junk food of the comedy world, you can never have just one. In fact, once you get started either telling or listening to corny jokes and pun-filled riddles, it's nearly impossible to stop.

That's because a short one-liner or silly knock-knock joke is almost always guaranteed to inspire a chuckle or two — if not a full-on belly laugh from friends and family.

Bad jokes are seriously addicting and for that reason, you should always have a few ready to roll at a moment's notice.

Awkward silence during dinner? Ask why the tomato blushed? Because it saw the salad dressing, of course. On a road trip with the family? Get the kids giggling by asking why birds fly south for the winter.

If you don't already know the answer (and we're guessing you do because it's a classic), you'll simply have to scroll on for the punchline.

But don't worry, by the time you find it, we're sure you'll be cracking up. Better yet, you'll have plenty of fresh material guaranteed to keep the gang in stitches for weeks to come.

And, we promise, that's no joke.

Bad jokes for all ages

  • Why did the deer go to the dentist? It had buck teeth.
  • Why did the computer get glasses? It wanted to improve its website.
  • Did you hear about the medieval lamp? It's a knight light.
  • Where do learn how to make ice cream? At sundae school.
  • What did the Dalmatian say after dinner? That hit the spot.
  • Where do elephants store their clothes? In a trunk.
  • What did the lawyer wear to court? A law suit.
  • Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
  • How do you identify a dogwood tree? By its bark.
  • How do celebrities stay cool? They have a lot of fans.
  • What's the best way to watch a fishing show? Live stream.
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  • Did you hear the one about the dull pencil? It was pointless.
  • What do you call spaghetti in disguise? An impasta.
  • Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected foul play.
  • What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog.
  • Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.
  • Did you hear about the emotional wedding? Even the cake was in tiers.
  • What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
  • What did one hat say to the other? You go on ahead.
  • How much do roofs cost? Nothing. They're on the house!
  • What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
  • How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
  • Why shouldn't you trust atoms? They make up everything.
  • What did one plate say to the other? Dinner's on me.
  • What kind of bug can tell time? A clock roach.

Bad knock-knock jokes

  • Knock, knock! Who's there? The interrupting cow. The interrupting ... MOOOOOOO.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Accordion. Accordion who? Accordion my sources, it’s going to rain.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ash. Ash who? Gesundheit! Need a tissue?
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Frank. Frank who? Frank you for asking, it’s me.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby just stung me, ouch!
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Giraffe. Giraffe who? Giraffe anything to eat? I sure am hungry.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Yvette. Yvette who? Yvette treats animals when they're sick.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Aida. Aida who? Aida big breakfast and now I'm stuffed.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for dinner.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Teddy. Teddy who? Teddy is my birthday.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Wren. Wren who? Wren will these knock-knock jokes ever end?
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Ida. Ida who? Ida know, but you better answer the door.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, cows go moo.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting in the house.

Bad dad jokes that'll make the whole family cringe

  • Where do rabbits go for breakfast? IHOP.
  • Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.
  • What do call a cold parrot? A brrr-d.
  • What do you call a fly with no legs? A walk.
  • What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm.
  • Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
  • Why did the photograph go to jail? It was framed.
  • Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  • What did one pen say to the other? You're ink-redable.
  • What do you call a fake father? A faux pa.
  • Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
  • Why do birds fly south for the winter? It's too far to walk.
  • Why did the man cut his camping trip short? It was in tents.
  • What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
  • Why couldn't the bicycle stand up without help? It was two-tired.
  • What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick.
  • Why do golfers always bring an extra pair of pants? In case they get a hole in one.
  • How can you spot a baby snake? It's got a rattle.
  • What did one eye say to the other? Between us, something smells.
  • Why did the shopping cart go to therapy? It was tired of being pushed around.
  • When does Friday come before Thursday? In the dictionary.
  • What did one horse say to the other? You mustang out with me.
  • Where do polar bears vote? At the North Pole.
  • Why don't cats tell stories? They only have one tail.
  • What do you get when you cross a grocery store and a scientist? Market research.
  • Why aren't there any restaurants on the moon? There's no atmosphere.

Corny (OK, bad) one-liners

  • I excel at sleeping. I can even do it with my eyes closed.
  • Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
  • The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  • I got rid of my vacuum. It was just gathering dust.
  • Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
  • I always pronounce one word wrong. Wrong.
  • I don't file my nails. I prefer to throw them away.
  • Pigs shouldn't drive. They always hog the road.
  • Did you hear about the witch that went into the desert? She was having a dry spell.
  • I avoid highways in winter. I don't like getting the cold shoulder.
  • What do you call a crocodile wearing a vest? An investigator.
  • A dinosaur was in a car accident. It was a tyrannosaurus wrecks.
  • My dog sat on a piece of sandpaper. It was ruff.
  • I avoid hanging out with pigs. They're a boar.
  • What's stranger than seeing a catfish? Watching a fish bowl.
  • Did you hear about the polite clown? It was a nice jester.
  • Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they bonded.
  • I got help for my ATM addiction, but went through withdrawals first.
  • Two walkie talkies got married. The reception was amazing.
  • I bought an automatic shovel. It's groundbreaking.