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125 bad jokes that are so dumb they're actually funny

These cringe-worthy puns and corny laughs will give your dad a run for his money.

You ever wonder how trains eat? They choo-choo, of course.

Didja hear about the deer that went to the dentist? It had buck teeth.

Bacon and eggs walk into a restaurant. The host says, "We don't serve breakfast here."

Ba-dum-tss! Thank you, thank you very much. Don't forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses on the way out.

Yeah, sure, we know. These bad jokes are seriously bad. But, also, you can't deny, you chuckled just a little. And why not? Dad jokes may make us all groan, but dang, they are so stupid funny that like a big bag of potato chips, once you start, stopping is next to impossible.

Fortunately for you, we've got an endless supply of bad jokes, funny one-liners, corny puns, knock-knocks and a whole lot more gags to keep the giggles coming. In fact, like any self-respecting dad joke, it'll become a-parent pretty quickly, that you've landed on the best collection of short-but-funny jokes out there.

Oooh, you catch our little pun right there? Well, fortunately for you, there are so many more where that came from, all of them just waiting to be savored and stashed away until the next family gathering, friends night out or whenever the occasion calls for cringe-worthy joke.

So, settle in and clear the aisles, because with this stockpile of classics, you're about to be rolling in them.

Bad jokes for kids

Bad Jokes
  • What did the duck say when the waiter brought the check? "Put it on my bill."
  • What did the tree say when spring arrived? What a re-leaf!
  • Why was six nervous? Because seven eight nine.
  • What do evil hens lay? Deviled eggs.
  • I once met a giant. I didn't know what to say, so I used big words.
Bad Jokes
  • What do bees use to fix their hair? Honeycombs.
  • Can February March? No, but April May.
  • I had a conversation with a dolphin once. It felt like we really clicked.
  • How can you tell if a plant is good at math? It has square roots.
  • How do penguins fix broken dishes? With igloo.
Bad Jokes
  • I'd tell you a pizza joke, but it's a bit too cheesy.
  • Two kittens had an argument. It ended in a cat-astrophe.
  • What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
  • How do trains eat? They choo-choo.
  • What do you call a moose with no name? Anony-moose.
  • Where do cows go on dates? To the moo-vies.
  • What do you call a duck that likes the Fourth of July? A fire-quacker.
  • Where do birds go when they eat dinner out? Someplace cheep.
  • A horse goes into a restaurant. The host says, "Hey!" The horse replies, "You read my mind."
Bad Jokes
  • What month of the year has 28 days? All of them.
  • What did the envelope say to the stamp? "Stick with me and we'll go places."
  • How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away its credit card.
  • What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved.
  • Why did the boy throw a stick of margarine out the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.
Bad Jokes
  • Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
  • Why can't you trust stairs? They're always up to something.
  • What kind of sandals do frogs prefer? Open toad.
  • How do birds learn how to fly? They wing it.
Bad Jokes
  • What kind of shoes do bananas wear? Slippers.
  • What's a mummy's favorite kind of music? Wrap.
  • I don't like artists. They tend to be sketchy.
  • Did you hear about the pasta that got locked out of the house? Gnocci.
  • I once bought a hat for my leg. It was a kneecap.
  • What's the best way to put a spaceship to sleep? Rocket.
  • Bacon and eggs walk into a restaurant. The manager says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
Bad Jokes
  • What causes dry skin? A towel.
  • What do you call a bug that can't make a decision? A may-bee.

Bad jokes for all ages

  • Why did the deer go to the dentist? It had buck teeth.
  • Why did the computer get glasses? It wanted to improve its website.
  • Did you hear about the medieval lamp? It's a knight light.
Bad Jokes
  • Where do chefs learn how to make ice cream? At sundae school.
  • What did the Dalmatian say after dinner? That hit the spot.
  • Where do elephants store their clothes? In a trunk.
  • What did the lawyer wear to court? A law suit.
  • Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
  • How do you identify a dogwood tree? By its bark.
  • How do celebrities stay cool? They have a lot of fans.
  • What's the best way to watch a fishing show? Live stream.
Bad Jokes
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  • Did you hear about the dull pencil? It was pointless.
  • What do you call spaghetti in disguise? An impasta.
  • Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected foul play.
  • What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog.
  • Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.
  • Did you hear about the emotional wedding? Even the cake was in tiers.
Bad Jokes
  • What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
  • What did one hat say to the other? You go on ahead.
  • How much do roofs cost? Nothing. They're on the house!
  • What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
  • How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
Bad Jokes
  • Why shouldn't you trust atoms? They make up everything.
  • What did one plate say to the other? Dinner's on me.
  • What kind of bug can tell time? A clock roach.

Bad knock-knock jokes

  • Knock, knock! Who's there? The interrupting cow. The interrupting ... MOOOOOOO.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Accordion. Accordion who? Accordion my sources, it’s going to rain.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ash. Ash who? Gesundheit! Need a tissue?
Bad Jokes
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Frank. Frank who? Frank you for asking, it’s me.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby just stung me, ouch!
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Giraffe. Giraffe who? Giraffe anything to eat? I sure am hungry.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Yvette. Yvette who? Yvette treats animals when they're sick.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Aida. Aida who? Aida big breakfast and now I'm stuffed.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for dinner.
Bad Jokes
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Teddy. Teddy who? Teddy is my birthday.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Wren. Wren who? Wren will these knock-knock jokes ever end?
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Ida. Ida who? Ida know, but you better answer the door.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No. Cows go moo.
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting in the house.

Bad dad jokes that'll make the whole family cringe

  • Where do rabbits go for breakfast? IHOP.
  • Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.
Bad Jokes
  • What do call a cold parrot? A brrr-d.
  • What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
  • What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm.
  • Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
  • Why did the photograph go to jail? It was framed.
  • Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Bad Jokes
  • What did one pen say to the other? You're ink-redable.
  • What do you call a fake father? A faux pa.
  • Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
  • Why do birds fly south for the winter? It's too far to walk.
  • Why did the man cut his camping trip short? It was in tents.
  • What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
  • Why couldn't the bicycle stand up without help? It was two-tired.
Bad Jokes
  • What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick.
  • Why do golfers always bring an extra pair of pants? In case they get a hole in one.
  • How can you spot a baby snake? It's got a rattle.
  • What did one eye say to the other? Between us, something smells.
  • Why did the shopping cart go to therapy? It was tired of being pushed around.
  • When does Friday come before Thursday? In the dictionary.
  • What did one horse say to the other? You mustang out with me.
Bad Jokes
  • Where do polar bears vote? At the North Pole.
  • Why don't cats tell a lot of stories? They only have one tail.
  • What do you get when you cross a grocery store and a scientist? Market research.
  • Why aren't there any restaurants on the moon? There's no atmosphere.

Corny one-liners

  • I excel at sleeping. I can even do it with my eyes closed.
  • Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
  • The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  • I got rid of my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.
  • Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
  • I always pronounce one word wrong. Wrong.
  • I don't file my nails. I prefer to throw them away.
  • Pigs shouldn't drive. They always hog the road.
Bad Jokes
  • Did you hear about the witch that went into the desert? She was having a dry spell.
  • I avoid highways in winter. I don't like getting the cold shoulder.
  • What do you call a crocodile wearing a vest? An investigator.
  • A dinosaur was in a car accident. It was a tyrannosaurus wrecks.
  • My dog sat down on a piece of sandpaper. It was ruff.
  • I avoid hanging out with pigs. They're a boar.
  • What's stranger than seeing a catfish? Watching a fish bowl.
  • Did you hear about the polite clown? It was a nice jester.
  • Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they bonded.
  • I got help for my ATM addiction, but went through withdrawals first.
  • Two walkie talkies got married. I hear the reception was amazing.
  • I bought an automatic shovel. It's groundbreaking.