You've got his Father's Day planned to a tee. (That one's for all the golf-obsessed dads out there!)
Maybe you're thinking of starting the day with a homemade brunch, followed by an afternoon on the take and dinner at his favorite restaurant. Or maybe, you'd rather spend your Sunday at home so Dad can relax and "rest his eyes " on the couch.
If he loves fishing, why not live stream it on TV? Or if he plays golf, take him to the course to practice his chip shot. Oh, and don't forget to bring an extra pair of pants — just in case he gets a hole in one.
OK, we get it. You're totally rolling your eyes at our corny gags. But if you can't contain a chuckle, you're in luck because we have plenty more Father's Day jokes coming your way.
In fact, we’ve rounded up all the dad jokes we can get our hands on to celebrate your dad, grandpa, stepdad, husband or any other special guy you’re celebrating this Father's Day.
Break them out while the family's gathered for a special dinner, write it in his Father's Day card or use one as an Instagram caption because there's no better gift to give the guy who loves funny one-liners. And if you want to keep the laughs coming, throw in one of these Father's Day puns for good measure.
Funny, dad-approved Father's Day jokes
- Dad, you really do love math. And then sum.
- What did the cheerleader serve for Father's Day breakfast? Cheerios.
- What do hermit crabs do on Father's Day? Shellabrate their dads.
- Where do cows go on dates? The moo-vies.
- What does the pig give his dad for Father's Day? Lots of hogs and kisses.
- What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
- When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
- Why did the football coach go to the bank? He wanted to get his quarter back.
- What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymoose.
- Where do cows get their clothes? From cattle-logs.
- I used to be afraid of hurdles. But I got over it.
- Why didn't the sun go to college? It already had a million degrees.
- Why can't you borrow money from elves? They're always a little short.
- How do trains eat? They choo-choo.
- Why don't leopards play hide-and-go-seek? They're always spotted.
- How do Eskimos fix broken dishes? With igloo.
- Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
- What's the downside to birthdays? Too many will kill you.
- What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
- Why do golfers always have an extra pair of pants? In case they get a hole in one.
- Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Summer wasn't bad either.
- Why shouldn’t you argue with a dinosaur? You’ll get jurasskicked.
- What do you call a dad who falls through the ice? A pop-sicle.
- Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!
- What did the baby otter say to its dad? You are a dad like no otter.
- What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office.
- When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline is apparent!
- Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Never-lands.
- What did the accountant say while auditing a document? This is taxing.
- Why did the orange stop halfway across the road? It ran out of juice.
- Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
- How do pigs wake up their dad on Father's Day? With plenty of hogs and kisses.
- Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools.
- Why should you never use a dull pencil? Because it’s pointless.
- Did you hear about the cheese factory that got blown up? Da brie was everywhere.
- How do you identify a dogwood tree? By its bark.
- How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poker face!
- I just invented a car that runs on herbs… I think I invented thyme travel.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? Impasta!
- What do you call someone who isn’t a dad but tells dad jokes? A faux pa.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I saw a lady at the bank checking her balance so I pushed her over.
- Did you hear about the yacht builder that had to work from home? His sails went through the roof.
Father's Day jokes for the whole family
- What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why did the phone wear glasses? Because it lost all its contacts.
- Swimming with sharks is so expensive. It cost me an arm and a leg!
- What did the buffalo say to his son as he walked out the door? Bi-son.
- How much do roofs cost? Nothing. They’re on the house!
- What do frogs wear on their feet in summer? Open toad sandals!
- The only reason I went to Wimbledon was because I heard it was a women’s singles event.
- My wife laughed at me when I told her I could make a car out of macaroni. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta!
- Do you want me to tell you the joke about the butter? No, you might spread it!
- How do celebrities keep cool? They have many fans.
- I had a long conversation with a dolphin once. We just seemed to click.
- It was a lovely wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
- The police just arrested the world’s tongue twister champion. They say he’ll be given a tough sentence.
- Just adopted a dog from the local blacksmith but as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
- I’ve got a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words, too, but underwater is one of my favorites.
- What does a baby computer call its dad? Data.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
- What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
- Why did the boy bring a ladder on the bus? He wanted to go to high school.
- What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner’s on me.
- Why do ducks have feathers on their tails? To cover their butt-quacks.
- Why did Mickey Mouse go into space? He wanted to find Pluto.
- What makes music in your hair? A headband.
- How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat? It’s full.
- I woke up this morning and couldn’t remember which side the sun rises on. Then it dawned on me.
- What did the horse say after it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.
- What did the book join the police? It wanted to go undercover.
- What’s the best way to watch a fishing show? Live stream.
- How does Darth Vader like his toast cooked? On the dark side.