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What your zodiac sign says about your approach to love and dating

If you want a fast-paced adrenaline rush for a first date, set your filter to Aries.
Photo Illustration: A pair of hands holding each other in front of the moon, surrounded by stars and astrology symbols.
TODAY illustration / Getty Images

As an astrologer, I don’t believe in hard and fast rules about compatibility. With enough hard work, I think that any pair can work. Sometimes, the challenge of a certain pairing can be a bonding agent.

That said, I’ve worked with enough signs (as in, all the signs) to know that each one approaches love and dating differently. If you ever want a whirlwind romance, set your filter to Aries — but beware, because this fire sign is always onto the next adventure. If you date a Pisces, you should get in touch with your emotional side, because they’re going to want to hear about it. 

While each Sun sign can be generalized, dating approaches are more complicated than that. Within astrology, Venus signs govern how we love and want to be loved. Mars governs our approach to sex and aggression. Mercury is all about communication. The Moon rules our inner lives and how we see ourselves. Naturally, all of these realms play a role in our closest relationships.

But you can think of the Sun sign as your primary approach to the dating world, setting up your love language. As such, you may be drawn toward particular signs. In 2020, the dating app Tinder released a study of how each sign used the app. Aries and Scorpio, both ruled by Mars, are the most active users — no surprises there. Libra and Virgo share the least about themselves. 

Below, find out how your sign cuts through this world, or your date’s. 


For Aries, dating is a competition. A friendly competition ... where everyone ends up a winner, of course. Aries wants to play with their dates, sort of like Simba and Nala in "The Lion King" after their long separation. So, break out the board games and the activities for a first date. As long as they feel they can playfully compete, the fiery sign will feel free to flirt. Dating will be impulsive, thrilling, and exciting with an Aries by your side. 


For a Taurus, a relationship should feel like a warm bath: a wonderful experience that can't be re-created elsewhere, and that you don't really want to leave. The keywords for a Taurus's love life are sensuality and relaxation. They like long dinners out and cocktails that cost a few dollars too many. All of this makes a Taurus feel pampered. which is especially important at the beginning stages of a relationship.


You don't need to be around a Gemini to feel supported. When they're enamored with someone, Geminis are constantly bestowing attention upon the object of their affection in the form of texts, calls and letters. Geminis want to share their mind with someone ... or as much of it as they can. So, communication is the number one quality they'll look for. Their love language? Responding fast.


You are not going to win a Cancer over in a day, and that's OK. For Cancer, romance is a slow burn with huge payoff. Yes, it'll take a moment to break through the tough exterior of the crab, but after weeks of earning their trust through consistent and steady efforts, Cancer will start to give the relationship a chance. Be prepared to jump through hoops to prove yourself in winning the heart of a Cancer.


If you're dating a Leo, you don't need to invest in a spotlight. You need to become the spotlight. When it comes to romance and dating, Leos need all the TLC they can get. They want their partner to be confident enough to step back and let them shine. Think of yourself as a greenhouse, and Leo is the sun — just soak up the good vibes.


For Virgos, there's no kind of stimulation like intellectual stimulation (though astrologers joke that Virgos, with their perfectionist bent, are also considered to be the best sign in the boudoir). Virgos seek out partners that can match their curiosity. On a first date, they'll want to have in-depth conversations about the world and their lives, setting the tone for a lifetime of similar chats.


Libras value partnership, believing that balance is necessary in life. They'll appreciate your personality differences for that reason — so long as they don't cause disharmony. When dating, a Libra seeks out someone who shares similar interests and aesthetic tastes. The relationship should feel good and look good, too. Libra's relationship is a bedrock in their life, and they tend to it carefully.


Pursuing a Scorpio should be an Olympic sport. You will experience adrenaline rushes and satisfying payoffs, along with a few unexpected twists. Scorpios are the most selective with who they choose to date, and among the most loyal once they make up their mind. The best way to win a Scorpio over in the early stages is to be honest and direct with your intentions. Drop any artifice. The more you give, the deeper your bond will be.


If it's not fun, why do it? This ethos governs Sagittarius' approach to dating. Sagittarius is always seeking out life's magical and unexpected corners, and is looking for a partner in that pursuit. Save the drama for someone else because they don’t tolerate emotional theatrics or boredom. Stay wide-eyed and open-minded. Sagittarius' vibe? One giant "yes" neon sign.


When it comes to Capricorns, you won't have to worry much about whether they'll want to settle down because they will. Instead, worry about whether you'll make their cut. Capricorn is always on the lookout for a long term S.O. But sea-goat can be selective, because they take the act of dating seriously. A partner is someone with whom they can build a solid foundation.


If an Aquarius invites you to hang out with their friends for a first date, roll with it. Aquarians are community-minded and want to evaluate whether their potential partner can add something to heir crew. Luckily, since Aquarians are sociable and conscientious, you'll feel safe under their wing. Before they commit, they'll want to spend a substantial amount of time together to make sure this isn't just a fizzy and fleeting feeling.


You can put the "perfect person" in front of a Pisces, but if the connection doesn't feel right, they won't hesitate to move on. Traits and checkmarks mean nothing in the face of a vibe. Pisces uses intuition to navigate the dating landscape. When you're getting coffee or at a bar with a Pisces, know that they're paying less attention to what you say, and more to how you say it. The feeling underneath is the most important part.