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For newly engaged couples, there is so much excitement and love in the air that it's very easy to feel like you're literally walking on clouds.
One of the VERY first questions every engaged couple is asked is, "So....when's the big day? When are you getting married?"
The decision on the "big day" usually hinges on several rational factors, including where the couple wants to get married (and its availability), job or school schedules, and more. That being said, some couples can fall into the "Hollywood" fantasy of getting married on Valentine's Day, or waiting for a numerically appealing day like 7/17/17. Research has shown that the number of actual weddings skyrocket on "special" dates (as compared to normal dates).
So, should you wait for a special date to get married? A new study on wedding dates done by the University of Melbourne recently found that couples who chose "special" dates for their weddings (numerically or romantically) were much more likely to divorce than couples who chose random days. Why is that? The researchers found several reasons:
1. It was their second marriage.
Couples who chose romantic or numerically significant dates had often been married before and had children from previous marriages. Adding "complexity" to the marriage equation never simplifies things — so lots of exes and kids in a new marriage can make conflict a stronger possibility.
2. They had less in common than couples who chose ordinary days.
Couples who chose normal days were more likely to focus on the quality of their match/relationship — making sure that they "got the big things right." They also found that they had similar educations, backgrounds and ages.
Couples who were gunning for Valentine's Day may be caught up in the romance of it all — marrying for the sake of marrying, and assuming that everything else would just "work itself out."
3. They were often already pregnant at the time of their wedding.
Many people upon learning about their pregnancy decide that the "right thing" to do is to get married. They may also believe that picking a romantic date will make up for a lack of compatibility or real romance.
Relationships and marriage require compromise from day one, and picking a person who makes it "easy" most of the time is a smart strategy.
Don't get caught into the bridezilla industry of saying yes to someone who isn't right for you (you know it in your gut — we always do), or get caught up in the excitement of the wedding planning with the wrong person.
Keep your feet on the ground, and pick a date that works well for you and those you love. Most importantly, pick a good person that will make you happy — no matter what your wedding date is!