Rachel Maddow is still reeling from almost losing her partner of over 21 years, Susan Mikula, to COVID-19 a little over two months ago.
She recently joined Ellen DeGeneres on her show to talk about the traumatizing experience, which was made even more challenging by the fact that Maddow didn't get sick so the couple had to separate quickly after Mikula's diagnosis. The MSNBC host called it "a mixed blessing."
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Chatting with DeGeneres, who also had COVID-19 last year and said she had "an easy time of it," Maddow recalled that her partner "was really suffering, and I was trying to take care of her from afar without being able to physically be with her."
"It was absolutely terrifying," she added.
"She's on her own, getting sicker and sicker, and we're monitoring her as close as we can and I basically just FaceTimed with her 24 hours a day for the whole time she was super sick," Maddow continued. "It was really, really scary. I feel like I'll never be the same again having been through that scare."
She went on to gush about her and Mikula's longtime partnership.
"I'm lucky I have the world's greatest relationship, and I'm totally in love, and she's the most important thing in my life," she said. "To feel like her life was on the line, I will never be the same person. It was so scary."
Even though Mikula is technically fully recovered at this point, she's still dealing with symptoms, her partner said on "Ellen."
"She's good, although like a lot of people who've had considerable symptoms with their COVID, there's a long tail for these symptoms," Maddow explained. "Even though she's a couple months out of it now, technically she's recovered virologically, but she still has a lot of symptoms that just recur in an unpredictable way: the fatigue, the headaches, the body aches and the brain fog."
"It just kind of comes back and wont let her go," she added.
"(Susan's) take on it is she's not getting better every day, but she's getting better every week, meaning even though she's got these recurring symptoms they're a little bit less every week when they come back. It's a long time."
The MSNBC host made headlines last November when she gave an emotional broadcast announcing Mikula had fallen ill and explained there was a possibility the coronavirus "might kill her."
"She’s gotten sicker and sicker, while I tried to care for her while still staying physically apart from her," Maddow said at the time. "And the bottom line is that she’s going to be fine, she’s recovering, she’s still sick but she’s going to be OK."