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Move over, Demi: 5 tips to being a sexy ‘cougar’

You can’t go anywhere these days without someone talking about cougar women. And it’s a fabulous thing that women who are over 40 are finally getting the attention they deserve.  Today’s “real cougar” is a confident, beautiful, sexy and financially independent woman. She understands how important it is to take control of all aspects of her life. A real cougar is a woman of style and of
/ Source: TODAY contributor

You can’t go anywhere these days without someone talking about cougar women. And it’s a fabulous thing that women who are over 40 are finally getting the attention they deserve.  Today’s “real cougar” is a confident, beautiful, sexy and financially independent woman. She understands how important it is to take control of all aspects of her life. A real cougar is a woman of style and of grace. She is a leader who never apologizes for being successful — she has worked hard for everything she has received and appreciates it all. 

Too often the term cougar is used in a negative way that is unflattering to all women. It’s the image of an older, unhappy woman chasing after younger men. Nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, we are certainly attracting younger men, but they are the ones doing the chasing. The younger man is recognizing just how much we have to offer. 

To fully appreciate what I mean, you have to fully appreciate the psyche of this wonderful species of womanhood.

The definition of the real cougar doesn’t really have anything to do with who she sleeps with.  A real cougar can be either married or single. She can be a businesswoman, a stay-at-home wife or mother. She might be divorced or she might be a woman who has never walked down the aisle. But whatever her path, the real cougar has chosen it for herself. She is not defined by a band on her finger. She will not be codified by society’s passé ideas about what makes a woman valid and vibrant. 

Age doesn’t need to play a big part in who you decide to sleep with, date or even marry. A real cougar is defined by her attitude about life and she is the woman we should all aspire to be. She is the smart leader, a woman who can shape a generation. She’s iconic. Think Anna Wintour or Demi Moore. Think ageless beauty.



Just for fun, start paying attention to some of the women who are your neighbors, co-workers or friends. You are going to realize that the real cougar is someone you’ve always known.  Maybe the real cougar is you. But in case you’re not quite there yet, here are five things you should consider in order to wake up that sexy cat inside of you.

  • Age is just a number.That’s the most important thing.These women are redefining what aging looks like. Because they eat well, exercise and do everything necessary to maintain a healthy balance in their life, 40, 50 or 60 never looked so good. 

  • Attract what you want by beingwhat you want. They know that like attracts like, so these women possess the qualities they are looking for in others. That’s the core of being a real cougar — creating your own reality. 

  • Embrace happiness. With all the stress and pressure in today’s world, what realcougars understand is that happiness is a choice and the choice is always theirs.

  • Don’t be guided by fear. Even when a situation seems daunting or unfamiliar, they take a deep breath, make a plan and move ahead. Nothing is worse for a real cougar than feeling stuck. They know that to get what they want they have to take calculated risks. But, needless to say, real cougars will do everything they can to put the odds in their favor.

  • Don’t hand over your sexuality or sensuality with your 40th or 50th birthday. Real cougars know that sex keeps getting better as they get older. Sure, as hormone levels change, they might need a little boost, but so what? It’s a myth that after 50 a woman has to trade her black lace lingerie for granny panties. A real cougar is comfortable in her own body and it’s this confidence that allows them to explore all areas of their sexuality. Real cougars make love with the lights on.  

So, here’s the bottom line: Achieving the rank of “real cougar” is a privilege, not an embarrassment. Don’t ever let age stop you from getting everything you want. You deserve it all.

To learn more about the “real cougar” woman, please visit Linda Franklin on her Web site and blog, www.highyieldliving.com