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Brené Brown explains the difference between 'belonging and fitting in'

In her new book, “Atlas of the Heart," Brené Brown delves into the importance of understanding our emotions.

Brené Brown is doing what she does best: Helping us understand our emotions and making us feel less alone.

The bestselling author appeared on Hoda & Jenna on TODAY Monday to discuss her latest book, "Atlas of the Heart," which delves into the importance of understanding our emotions, what it means to be human and and how to have meaningful connections.

During the interview, Jenna Bush Hager asked Brown for deeper insight on “belonging and fitting in,” one of the topics discussed in “Atlas of the Heart.”

“The thing is that we are wired to be a part of something bigger than us so deeply, that sometimes we will take fitting as a substitute, but actually fitting in is the greatest barrier to belonging because fitting in says, ‘Be like them to be accepted.’ Belonging says, ‘This is who I am. I hope we can make a connection,” said Brown.

Brown’s new book will explore 87 emotions that define how humans connect and the need for language to properly share our stories with grounded confidence.

“Language is hugely important because language not only communicates emotion, it shapes actually what we're feeling,” she said. "Language is like a portal to magic places."

Brown even broke down the nuances of comparison especially due to social media and how disappointed expectations can lead to anger.

“Our neurobiology drives us to compare where the choice comes in is what we do with a comparison,” said Brown. “The thing is you have to learn how to reality check what you're seeing, and also you make a choice about how you're going to let that affect you.”

The author explained how setting unrealistic "stealth" expectations could play a massive role in how we handle our emotions and often times that emotion is disappointment.

She even offered an anecdote on how setting out her expectations for the day helps her set an intention on what to look forward to throughout the day.

“Reality check the expectations, like here's what I'm hoping the day looks like today. And then be like is this realistic or unrealistic? I think examining the expectations we set and what are we trying to get out of something that we maybe should be looking for somewhere else,” said Brown.