Look, no one regrets more than I do that we’ve come to this point, but we simply can’t ignore it forever. It’s peak holiday season, and when we’re under stress, we all make questionable decisions if we don’t talk about our problems with others who care about us.
It’s time we have an open and honest conversation about butter candles.
They are all over TikTok: tapers, pillars, vegan, seasoned. I know you have a lot of questions, like “Why?” and “Whyyyyyyyyy?” Well, maybe some people just want to watch the world burn, but more likely, these are the inadvisable offspring of ancient tallow candles and the recent butter board obsession.
The earliest one we found on the app was from TikToker Soozie the Foodie (aka Suzy Farmar). As suspected, she told us she decided to try it after seeing tallow candles, and she continues to make it because it’s such a “great way to elevate your bread and butter game.” The ridiculousness of it obviously isn’t lost on her, either.
Like a lot of people, I’m not on board with butter boards, so I’m dubious about this hot mess from the outset. There are a few videos showing candles made from a rock-solid stick with a wick shoved into it, or molded carefully with softened butter like Farmar’s, but the vast majority of tutorials cast the candle from melted garlic butter so that you can light it at the table and dip bread into it. Many of them call for steps that aren’t strictly necessary, like clarifying or straining, but you might choose to do those if you’re going for a certain look or dietary need. I’m going to keep it simple here, because let’s face it — I have about an hour before I really, really have to get some presents wrapped.
Here’s everything I used:
Important disclaimer: This makes a candle, a real one, lit on fire with — and I cannot emphasize this enough — real fire. Do not leave it unattended. Keep away from drapes, alcohol, long-haired cats, synthetic fabrics, children and impressionable adults.
Some of our intrepid butter adventurers have had trouble with lumpy, collapsing tapers and drowned wicks, so I opted for pillar-style to provide a wide surface for stable dipping. While some videos caution us to use food-grade hemp or beeswax wicks, others give cavalier instructions to use a “normal candle wick,” but I’d like you to keep in mind that things that aren’t food-grade may contain things like lead and rat hairs. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer my garlic butter unleaded. Regrettably, I have already been to the store 9,687 times this week, to get foil and chocolate chips and more chocolate chips, and I refuse to go looking for organic hemp beeswax wicks. I dipped regular cotton kitchen twine in butter instead — readily available, much cheaper, and as free of rat hair as anything else in your kitchen. And, most importantly, it works!
Using a waxed paper cup for a mold is easy and doesn’t use a ton of butter. Sadly, it pretty obviously looks like it was made from a paper cup, and I want this to be holiday-spread-worthy. I chose a small ceramic dish with a circle of parchment cut to fit the bottom. I then promptly forgot about the parchment and stuck my wick down with a piece of solid butter for hold. I poured in two sticks of butter melted with four cloves of minced garlic and added cracked black pepper for camouflage. (“Soot on your garlic bread? Heavens, no, must be the black pepper.”) Wrapping the wick around a chopstick held it straight while it chilled.
When it was solid, I dipped the dish in hot water for about 10 seconds and it popped out onto a plate with slightly more banging on the counter than I’d hoped. (Don’t forget your parchment!) I toasted up a crosshatched, cheese-stuffed loaf, and then popped the candle into a little cutout. It lit up like any candle, with minimal sputtering from the residual water in the butter and garlic. If you want it to burn really smoothly, clarify and strain yours. After burning for about 10 minutes, the top layer was soft enough to drag a piece of bread through for a satisfyingly garlicky bite.
The verdict: It’s a gorgeous, festive, delicious centerpiece. Bonus points for hilarity. My favorite thing about it, though? Yankee Candle had better watch their backs — it makes your whole house smell amazing!
Just don’t burn the place down.