Conspiracy theorists, hold onto your bootstraps.
A group of Princeton University physicists have come to the conclusion that an Oreo cookie will always split with the cream — the "Stuf," if you will — on the same side.
That innocuous-looking box of Oreos in your pantry? The little cookie propped over there on a napkin by your keyboard? Yup, they're all working together.
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"Here’s how it works," writes Elijah Wolfson in the Quartz article that first revealed this startling Oreo revelation to the world. "Position the Oreo box so that the text on the packaging is facing the right way, and take out the cookie in the upper left hand corner. If the cream ends up on the left biscuit on one cookie, it’ll end up on the left biscuit for every cookie in that box. If it’s on the right, vice versa."
This is not a drill. This means you can actually guess with 100 percent accuracy which side the cream will fall on.
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But how did the esteemed researchers figure all this out?
Well, apparently, they tried a few ultra-scientific tests.
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They bought hundreds of Oreos. Then, they simply pulled the top cookie off from the bottom over and over and over. After that, they enlisted their friends' help. Eventually, they put the cookies into a load frame meant to test repeated forces on objects. And finally, they used a "rotation rig" to see what would happen when the cookies were twisted, rather than lifted, apart.
They learned that it all had to do with the cookies' manufacturing process.
As each cookie is being assembled, the hot filling is poured onto one wafer before the second is added on top. That gives the bottom cookie more of a chance to adhere to the creamy filling, allowing it to stick to that side when ripped apart.
All we know is that we hope someone ate all of the cookies used in those tests...
...And that we'll never see the world the same again.