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RIP, Choco Taco: I forgot about you until you were gone

Alexa, play "I will remember you" by Sarah McLachlan.

I was eating a slice of Chantilly cake when I heard the news of your passing. Shame on me.

My beloved, the sweet origin of my love story with dessert: Choco Taco, has been discontinued. In a series of tweets on Monday, your parent (company) Klondike confirmed the sad news.

“Unfortunately, the Choco Taco has been discontinued in both 1ct and 4ct packs,” said Klondike in a tweet, although honestly I think I should have gotten a call. They knew how much I loved you. Klondike also explained why you’ve left us: It experienced an unprecedented spike in demand across its portfolio, and you were a casualty. Life is not fair.

Choco Taco
The Choco Taco got its wings.TODAY Illustration / Getty Images

It was love at first sight. When I saw your photo on the menu stuck to the side of my neighborhood ice cream truck. I was eight, and you were stunning. You sat below character ice cream bars like the Ninja Turtles or Sonic the Hedgehog, and were just a little bit more expensive, too; I spent just about all of my allowance on you, you fancy treat. 

We’re the same age, too: I was born in 1983 and so were you. By the time we met you had already become famous, being offered in ice cream trucks and eventually in the frozen foods aisle. I made sure to enjoy your company as often as I could throughout my childhood, and you informed my love of over-the-top and inventive desserts.

Klondike said that a necessary but unfortunate part of its business is that sometimes it must discontinue products, even a beloved item like you, Choco Taco. I found myself thinking how Klondike could have been so cruel to me and all the others gathered here today to mourn your loss and celebrate your nearly four decades of existence. But then I realized, it was me that was cruel!

Choco, I really don’t remember the last time I actually held you, let alone took a chomp out of your sweet waffle shell, chocolate-swirled vanilla ice cream center or your nutty chocolate shell topping. Others gathered here have admitted the same.

I’m going to be extremely vulnerable right now and reveal that I didn’t even notice you were gone for seven years before Taco Bell brought you back earlier this year. And now you’re gone. That’s how it may remain.

This realization hit me like a ton of bricks — or Firecracker Ice Pops, which would still hurt the same and also be very cold and sticky, so that’s clearly worse. Over the years, my attention and interest in you waned, and regrettably, I moved on to other desserts — peach Melba, crêpes Suzette, the Trader Joe’s cake I was eating when I heard you left us.

I thought you would always be there so I could stray, but Choco, I was wrong. I feel like a cad. Hindsight is 20/20 and you were always a 10.

Yes, there have been other cold treats in my life, even ones that left us before you did — I’ve poured one out for Flintstone’s Push-ups and Pink Panther Ice Pops — but you were my first love. I always thought you would be there for me whenever I needed you, either patiently waiting for me in a bodega freezer or my local grocery aisle, so without you, the world seems a little less sweet.

When I need a delicious ice cream with a hard chocolate shell, what will I reach for? I mean … probably a Klondike Krunch Bar, if we're being honest, but I’ll be thinking of you the whole time.

Rest in peace.