Bourdain's tip for men, celebrity-chef-hating and vegan 'self-indulgence'

Courtesy of Playboy

The always uncensored (and eminently quotable) Anthony Bourdain opened up to Playboy, talking about everything from what men need to do in the kitchen to his disdain for dietary restrictions, and of course, some choice words on certain celebrity chefs.

“Learn how to cook a f------ omelet,” Bourdain advises men. “I mean, what nicer thing can you do for somebody than make them breakfast? You look good doing it, and it’s a nice thing to do for somebody you just had sex with. I think it’s good for the world. It’s a good thing all around. It’s easy….the way you make an omelet reveals your character.”

Alright, we can get behind that. But if you guys are looking for a quick aphrodisiac from your eats, Bourdain says it doesn’t exist. The traveling TV host, whose new show “The Layover” premieres on Nov. 21, spends 220 days a year on the road and says he has yet to find a particular food that’s truly an aphrodisiac. He says he’s been offered many foods with claims to increase virility. “Parts of endangered species, animals still alive,” he said. “Like you’re supposed to … go home and impregnate whoever falls into your path. But it’s all a myth.”

He goes on to discuss celeb chefs, offering praise for Mario Batali.

“Mario’s managed to balance making a lot of money, opening a lot of restaurants, world domination and his personal happiness and quality of life in a remarkable way,”  Bourdain tells Playboy. “He’s the smartest chef there is. There is no chef smarter or funnier or faster.”

On Emeril Legasse and Bobby Flay, Bourdain admits they are good chefs, but questions what he considers dumbed-down food for TV audiences. “I made my career making fun of [Legasse]. I miss him now. He has good restaurants and is a good chef, but the stuff he made on TV was ridiculous.” On Flay, he adds, “Again, an accomplished restaurateur. But I don’t understand why these guys would make this candy-colored sort of crowd-pleasing television. Why would they compromise themselves so much?”

Some of Bourdain's harshest comments were reserved for vegetarians and vegans, saying that they make bad travelers and bad guests and that their dietary restrictions are “rude.” “Being a vegan is a first-world phenomenon, completely self-indulgent,” he said.

The often curmudgeonly host also talked about playing around as a “Top Chef” judge and why fans don’t have to worry that he’ll ever quit his day job for it.

“It’s fun. I love hanging around with Tom Colicchio. He’s a serious guy, so I view it as a challenge to crack him up on camera, to see his Mount Rushmore composure crumple,” he joked. “Unlike similar shows, the level of competition on 'Top Chef' is high. The judges take their jobs seriously. I sure don’t do it for the money, because they’re cheap as f---”

To read Bourdain pontificate on Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity campaign, foie gras and why McDonald’s is like crack, read the full interview in the November issue of Playboy, on newsstands Friday.