The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

Published: September 14, 2007, 10:00 am

An Open Letter to Appalachian State Fans http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcQGJUUSAE8 Congratulations! Last week, you pulled off one of the greatest upsets in the history of sports. Since then, your merchandise has been on back order, your website crashed due to all the traffic, and your 16,000 seat stadium is sold out for the first time. Way to go. You’ve really put Boone, North Carolina on the map. Enjoy it, because any day now, you’ll wake up and remember that you’re in Boone, North Carolina. It is true that you won a football game. But consider that tomorrow and for the rest of your college career, you will be attending classes on a remote mountain top while the Wolverines will be in Ann Arbor, home to the largest population of hot slutty chicks north of the Mason-Dixon. Ann Arbor has so many hot chicks you could still get laid if you were a paraplegic midget wearing an Appalachian State shirt. Seriously, if you can’t get any in Ann Arbor, cut it

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