The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

Published: August 31, 2007, 2:00 am

Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait Harrah’s has announced that it intends to build an arena in Las Vegas capable of housing an NBA team. Tim Donaghy has already volunteered to referee all 41 home games. The Houston Rockets have made a contract offer to defensive specialist Dikembe Mutombo. The offer is for one year or six points, whichever comes first. Mavericks owner Mark Cuban will be a cast member of Dancing With the Stars. We’re not sure how he’ll be able to stay on his feet while they’re constantly in his mouth. A judge has set bond at $5 million each for the two men accused of robbing Antoine Walker’s home. Ironically, that’s almost as much money as Walker stole from the Heat last season. Barry Bonds was honored in San Francisco when the mayor presented him with the key to the city. Given Bonds’ popularity, we’re surprised he didn’t just leave the key

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