An Open Letter to Seattle's Douchebags: Knock it the Hell Off!

Published: July 30, 2007, 8:20 pm

Tags: music

Oh Seattle, you make us feel so old. It was maybe a year ago and some, while we were wallowing in the mud at Sasquatch, clutching our $8 cans of Budweiser, when we finally said to ourselves, "You know what? Outdoor festivals suck." And then we recoiled in horror. Hating festivals is the very definition of getting old, isn't it? Really. There's an accepted narrative explanation of this phenomenon at pseudo-hipster bastions like The Stranger: anyone who gripes about stuff that's supposed to be fun, like rock festivals or clubbing or bar-hopping, is by definition a curmudgeon who really just hate the kids having fun. But, having had some time now to reflect on that first, god-awful thought, as well as having attended a number of festivals since, we've overcome our initial shame at our hatred of these events and realized, we're not old, we're just not douchebags. And to be fair, Seattle, the vast majority of you are not douchebags, either; but there's an extremely loud and irritating

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