Britney Spears, Nuclear Physicist, Will Use Her Amazing Intellect To Harness The Power Of The Sun And Stop Global Warming

Published: September 17, 2007, 6:23 pm

Tags: bodyguard, britney spears, custody battle, fat tony, gloria allred, k fed, nuclear physicist, running around naked, shannon funk, tub of guts, using drugs

That's about as believable as Britney taking out a contract on K-Fed's hillbilly ass. Or as believable as some fat tub of guts coming forward four months later to dish dirt out of concern for her children's welfare. Yeah, right. How much are they paying you, Slim? In food or in cash? Brit and Fat Tony in happier days High-powered attorney Gloria Allred, queen media whore and not even officially of counsel in the custody battle, was the one who dragged this clown out from behind a dumpster. She also whipped the press into a frenzy before appearing front and center with her chubby new friend. Fat Tony, as he is known (wonder why), provided a sworn statement that he saw Britney using drugs and running around naked in front of her children. Like that other pillar of virtue, Shannon Funk, Tony's tenure with Britney was decidedly short. He said Britney fired him because she told him to pick up her hat and he didn't hear her. That she fired him because he couldn't bend down to pick up said

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