The Toilet Paper Stand-Off

Published: February 18, 2008, 1:58 pm

My wife and I have tendencies to be lazy. We're also both very stubborn. And neither of us likes to hang a new roll of toilet paper.This isn't half-way laziness; it's not like we're getting the toilet paper and setting it on the thing. We won't go get the new roll at all. Once a roll of toilet paper is used up it becomes The Toilet Paper Stand-Off.We'll go three or four days with no new toilet paper when she finally breaks down and grabs a new roll. Then we use it up followed by three or four days before she breaks down and renews it again. The Toilet Paper Stand-Offs turned into Benjamin Victories.She says that I never get a new roll. I say that I never use the last of the roll. Always a Benjamin Victory. Until she learned how to play.Then, the name of the game becomes "How Much Toilet Paper Can You Use Without Using the Last of It?" I'm very good at this game. See, we have forty rolls of toilet paper two feet away, but there's a box of Kleenex on the back of the toilet,

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