Dept. Of The U.s. Economy Exists Because Chuck Norris Permits It To Exist: U.S. Economy In Trouble? Call Chuck Norris

Published: September 27, 2007, 2:52 pm

Tags: apocalypse, chuck norris, collapse, dept of the u s economy exists because chuck norris permits it to exist, dollar, great depression, iraq

Chuck Norris recently and forcefully reminded us in a masculine manner that he would single-handedly turn Iraq into a manly democracy ruled by the iron fists of Chuck Norris. Now Bloomberg markets columnist Mark Gilbert has learned that Chuck Norris is also the brute-force answer to America’s collapsing economy, and here are a few examples: Chuck Norris doesn’t target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy. The Chuck Norris dollar buys 3 Canadian dollars, and trades at parity with the euro. Chuck Norris doesn’t supply collateral, only collateral damage. The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries. When the yield on a Chuck Norris bond goes up, the price also rises. Chuck Norris’s Tears Might Solve Credit Crunch [Bloomberg]

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