Transcript of President's Call Reaffirming His Faith in the Competence of America's Alzheimer's Ravaged Attorney General

Published: April 24, 2007, 9:15 am

Tags: 2007

THE PRESIDENT: Speedy! GONZALES: Hello? THE PRESIDENT: Speedy Gonzales! GONZALES: Ha, ha, Mr. President! That one always cracks me up. Ha, ha! The Warner Brother's Loony Tune character Speedy Gonzales, other than being a hilarious counterintuitive caricature of a slow, lazy Mexican, ALSO shares MY last name, which is ALSO Gonzales! Ha, ha! THE PRESIDENT: How is my favorite Mexurrito? GONZALES: I don't recall, jefe. THE PRESIDENT: Excellent. Are you sure? GONZALES: I think so, sir. But I can't be certain. Because after all, I don't recall. THE PRESIDENT: Good - because I don't want my favoritest, most loyal, most likely to fling himself on any political sword to protect yours truly, most scapegoatest yes man toadie to ever lick a boot heel to be unhappy. GONZALES: As they say in Texas, Mr. President: I'm happier than a coyote eating a biscuit then woooosh! There rolls a tumbleweed past a harmonica-playin' cowpoke THE PRESIDENT: Huh. Ain't never heard that one before.

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