President Offers Gushingly Warm Welcome to Anachronistic Personification of Pompous Limey Entitlement

Published: May 7, 2007, 9:25 am

Tags: 2007

THE PRESIDENT: Today, Laura and me is honored to welcome Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, and His Royal Hineyness King Philip – who may act all sissy-submissive in public, but who everyone knows really calls the shots back at the castle. (Winks.) I want to congratulate ol' Liz here on her recent movie and Academy Award. Watching her endure the agony of a clueless public stupidly grieving the death of that Arab-porking whore of an Ex-Princess Diane, I couldn't help but remember my own struggle when the criminally overrated Ronald Reagan finally kicked it. How expertly we both concealed our secret glee over the Lord's long-overdue decision to snuff out those pains in our asses! You know, the United Kingdom has written many of the greatest chapters in the history of human freedom. Like, 8 zillion years ago, the Magna Carta was written, ensuring that so long as there's a piece of paper that says no one is above the law, the trashy poor rabble will more or less settle down

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