President's Remarks to Super-Stoked Troops During Mega-Secret Photo Op in Increasingly Ultra-Safe Iraq |
| Published: September 3, 2007, 1:08 pm |
| Tags: 2007 |
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THE PRESIDENT: Howdy doody, fighting men and chickies of the United States of America! Three guesses as to who's jawing at you right now, smack dab here in the middle of the closest thing to hell on Earth there is – not counting the grounds of the US Capitol or the homo district of Massachusetts, which I think is called "Massachusetts". G'wan, GI Joes, El Jefe Supremo says GUESS! SOLDIER #1: Is it the Angel of Death, sir? THE PRESIDENT: CLOSE! SOLDIER #2: Is it my wife and kids who I haven't seen in over eight months, sir? THE PRESIDENT: NO DICE! SOLDIER #3: IS IT THAT FUCKING ARMY RECRUITER WHO TOLD ME I'D BE SERVING MY COUNTRY DRINKING RUM AND TANNING IN GUAM, SIR? THE PRESIDENT: No. It's... SOLDIER #4: HEY, WHEN'S THE PHOTO OP, MR. PRESIDENT? I'M THINKING A FRAMED PICTURE OF YOU AND ME SMILING WOULD LOOK GREAT ON TOP OF MY FLAG-DRAPED COFFIN! THE PRESIDENT: That's right! It is me, Mr. President hisself! You done guessed correctly! Now, I [ Full article ] |
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