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Title: How Can It Feel This Raw? View count: 982 Rating: 4.75 (36 ratings) Description: I was inspired to write a short narrative about dead and suicide. It is written in the style of David Sedaris. Music: Portishead -- Roads Hello Friends. This is Zarbod. I recently attended a dinner party with a few close friends and one outsider named Marlene. Marline was a friend of the hostess and she was trying to reach out to her "now". Marlene had recently returned from a stay at an inpatient medical facility for people who "well" had issues to resolve. She had recently attempted to take her own life. Marlene presented herself in a silk and taffeta blouse which was overstated. Its opulence exsenuated the intensity of the situation rather than lessened it. Much like mothers on sinking ships telling their children that everything will be ok. I wondered if her attempt was real or just a cry for help. I once heard a lady tell of her attempt to end it all by sticking her head in the oven. But she gave up the attempt when she realized that life is precious and she wanted to live. She also found that ending ones life in an electric oven requires a much higher level of commitment than it would in a gas oven. It was a simple but elegant meal. Not extravagant by any means but lovingly shared from the heart of one who wished she had done more. But hadn't. O the exaggerations of regret like gifts from a long absent father. She asked if we wanted to know what happened. We denied it sincerely and shook our heads though secretly longing to know. She said she was just tired. Tired of it all and the racing thoughts in her head which torment her like a thousand gonging bells all night. She asked if we knew what she meant. We smiled uneasily since we did not. She said it just didn't really help to talk but she had nothing to lose. She said that sometimes at the end of the day. The lights go down. And she is alone. The house is quiet. The night is soft "like the formless shadow of regret". And the years go on. And life goes on. But the pain doesn't fade like they promised it would. She said she still feels the ache like it happened yesterday. Like she's still struggling to inhale after getting the wind knocked out of out. How can it feel this raw? This raw. She asked if we knew what she meant. We smiled uneasily since we did. Going home that night I wondered if she would ever get over it. How does one deal with a past which follows like a tenacious shadow. Anchoring us to our pain and remorse. And in the still of the night what will you do when the demons come. And the will come. When the demons come and show you. Yourself. When the demons leave you. Alone in the darkness. Alone in the silence. Honors for This Video: #94 - Most Discussed (Today) - Film & Animation Tags: chicks, dating, david, death, dinner, npr, sedaris, suicide, zarbod, Author: Zarbod |
