TODAY

TODAY   |  April 17, 2014

How to avoid being a pregnancy over-sharer

Etiquette expert Thomas Farley of whatmannersmost.com talks about how to share pictures and stories of your baby and pregnancy online without annoying your social followers.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> all right. we're back with our ongoing series which we call "the social." and this morning when sharing goes overboard.

>> when we're kids we're taught that sharing is a good thing. and here at appleseed's play space in manhattan, some proud parents have no problem sharing a lot.

>> every time it's this 1 month birthday, he does a picture with a sticker on it. the first time he lifted his hat. or the first time he smiled. you can't help it. every time i take a picture, i'm like, everyone has to see this picture, it's adorable.

>> i never cared for it. i didn't like it. i was pretty against it. then i had a kid, and then i understood.

>> for some like yours truly the sharing starts early.

>> you know what, i've become one of those, i'm the person who shows the ultrasound picture. you can even throw an ultrasound party with dozens of family and friends.

>> he's covering up his face with either an arm or leg.

>> even birth itself can be an open book just ask twitter employee claire diaz-ortiz had made news by live tweeting her own labor. seemingly everybody put everything online for the world to see. we're a click away from sharing everything that in the moment feels important. and we end up sharing so much of ourselves. more than other people are truly interested in seeing.

>> parenthood is no different.

>> there's no one more narcissistic than a pregnant woman and a new parent.

>> unfortunately, all of those tweets, updates and photos can lead to monumental burnout.

>> i think it gets to a point, it's great, all right, i'm going to move on now.

>> if there's an occasional photo you don't mind seeing when little johnny first scrapes his knee, but every time little johnny picks his nose, come on.

>> we put the issue to you. it turns out this is funny. 60% of you say it's annoying when other parents overshare about their children or pregnancy. yet 60% also admit to oversharing some or all the time. so we're guilty of it and we hate it, apparently. here to help us out etiquette expert tom foley . good morning. i have ultrasound pictures and i really love to share them with people.

>> is it proper etiquette to show perfect strangers?

>> the nice thing, especially if you've got tons of facebook friends you can really restrict the circles that you share to. i advise that. if you got 3,000 friends maybe 3,000 don't need to see the ultrasound.

>> should you maybe wait for somebody to ask, oh do you have ultrasound pictures?

>> exactly.

>> the great thing, remember the days where we had these, remember, you whipped these out. you were trapped when you're with somebody who had one of these. now, if you don't like what you're seeing if you think somebody is sharing too much, you just hide their updates. and the person is not offended either.

>> what's a reasonable amount of sharing, for example, posting your kids pictures and their accomplishments on facebook .

>> there's definitely a fine palestine between posting and boasting. you want to keep the gross stuff off the facebook . the diapers the spitups.

>> the bathtubs.

>> yeah, live tweeting the delivery. that's a little bit much.

>> yes.

>> don't even think about it.

>> #pain.

>> yeah --

>> please don't give too much ideas.

>> the gross stuff didn't go on. he just said that.

>> i have to say i was a single person for most of my life. i would think it was a little bit annoying when people put too much on. i don't know -- maybe it was my issue, it kind of made me feel bad sometimes, i don't know, if it's too much.

>> i love seeing the pictures. if it's a scrape, an ultrasound -- it's the plan.

>> there is a line. but that's the line you got to fine.

>> but your friends love to see those moments. they're probably not your friends.

>> nowadays there aren't many friends that --

>> i think you get a lot of parents who put a whole warning scenario and explain how awful their morning is going.

>> the complaint is different. but look at my kids' cheeks -- i love that.

>> see you right after school. okay. 56% said once a day is too much to overshare. a few times a week, 22%. once a week, 11%. less often. apparently once a day, a sweet spot .

>> yeah.

>> i like to say, don't spend too much time looking at the screen when you're not looking at the child. enjoy the moments. post, yes. but don't dominate your day with posting.