TODAY | March 26, 2014
>>> i really love your suit. that tie is rockin.
>> this old thing?
>> you can't just say thank you?
>> thank you, i mean. love your dress, too. wonderful.
>> we're struggling with this. because so many people have a hard time taking a compliment. you're not alone if you feel this way. most of us have a tough time accepting praise.
>> that was us acting, by the way.
>> thank you very much. thank you very much.
>> here to help change that, good morning to you both.
>> good morning.
>> thank you.
>> why is this so difficult? you get a compliment. you either deflect it, change the subject, try to put it out. why?
>> because there's safety in numbers . when we become -- when we stand out, we pay a price. and that's -- women have a real hard time with that. real hard time .
>> do women have a harder time?
>> it's true. in the article, we spoke to a gender studies expert, and she said this actually goes all the way back to middle school . when the girls want to fit in. when they get a compliment, they stand out, start brushing it off as a defense mechanism . and as adults, it's an automatic response.
>> don't men do it, too? i just get a little physically uncomfortable.
>> i think everybody has a problem with it. but you see, men are different. like, i really don't care what you think that much. a lot of women can be -- they're defined by the opinion of other women .
>> and it's a real hard time they have with all that stuff. i think that it's a proximity thing, too. you know how a lot of women post selfies on facebook and, you know, they want to get likes. they want to be, you know -- embraced by their peers.
>> well, i think you're right about women wanting compliments from other women . if a woman says, i like your dress, that means more to me when a guy says it, because i think women believe when men compliment us, they have an ulterior motive.
>> i think women have an ulterior motive. they can be a little more divisive than a man. i think they might have an ulterior motive to make the woman not feel as good as they can to single them out. and the way they know women have a hard time being singled out.
>> how do we do this, then? how can we be better at accepting a compliment?
>> well, number one, say thank you.
>> right off the bat.
>> it's simple, effective and it works.
>> if somebody gives you praise and it applies to a group of people. it's okay to call out the other contributors. so if you threw a great dinner party last weekend, you can say, oh, thank you, my sister helped prepare all the advertippetizers.
>> and third, most important, don't fall into the awkwardness traps. which are volleying the compliment back and forth.
>> oh, i love your hair. looks great today.
>> who ends it?
>> and finally, don't deflect it. don't down play it. don't down play your success and say, oh, it was no big deal or i got lucky. goes back to number one. say thank you.
>> the sexiest thing a woman can do when a man compliments her is say thank you.
>> don't try to change his mind.
>> we've got a lot to work through here.
>> thank you, willie.